


No Light

by rmartin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Armitage Hux Has Issues, Force-Sensitive Armitage Hux, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, M/M, Manipulation, Possessive Kylo Ren, Smuggler Armitage Hux, Smut, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:35:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 39,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28478532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rmartin/pseuds/rmartin
Summary: Hux's never believed in the First Order and he became a spy for the Republic at a young age. He's never revealed his identity though and only waited to kill his father before he ran away and now lives as a smuggler. By chance, he encounters Ren, who is now Supreme Leader and the only thing that keeps him away from taking over the galaxy is the Resistance. Ren finds out that Hux is Force-sensitive and decides that he will anything just to get him on his side to win this war.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 12
Kudos: 108
Collections: Kylux Big Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for everything [Meeting Your Maker](https://meetingyourmaker.tumblr.com)

The Force is quiet these days. 

It's not a calm type of quiet but rather silence that seeps into Ren's bones and haunts him even in his sleep. It's a warning that something is about to happen but no amount of meditation can help him understand what the Force wants to say. It's very subtle, like a gentle summer breeze but Ren has a feeling that nothing good will come out of it. He wonders whether Rey feels the same, after all each disturbance in the Force should be felt by her too. Unfortunately, he is unable to reach her now, their connection was broken with Snoke's death.

He asks his Knights about that, whether they too can feel the subtle tension. Their nod in unison, their expressions hidden by their masks. They can feel it, they tell him, but they can't understand.

Then it happens. One moment he is sleeping, he remembers stumbling into his bed. He can't feel the warmth of his sheets anymore, the air here is thick with rain and it's cold, so cold that Ren shakes and his bones rattle. That's when he sees her again, three weeks apart. Her cheeks are not stained with tears anymore but she is still mourning Luke's death, it's in her eyes after all.

Rey looks at him and her lips part, she gasps and then tries to move away. She stumbles. Ren watches as rain soaks her hair and the simple clothes she is wearing. He looks down and sees that he is dressed up in his uniform, he touches his face and finds out it's concealed by his mask again. He hasn't worn that mask in a while and it's a strange feeling. It's hard to get used to it again.

“What the hell?” Rey turns around. She has no idea where she is. “Did you bring me here?” 

He ignores her rage as he speaks up. “It's not my doing,” he tells her. The buildings are tall but shabby, dark. The scenery is sad, the streets are empty. Ren can feel as his heart skips a beat and he is unable to move when Rey's Light crashes into him in waves. He hisses as his knees buckle and he falls on the ground, the water seeps through the thin material of his pants.

He is angry but only for a moment because he feels when his Darkness mixes with her blood and Rey falls as well, face pale now and hands clutching her chest. “What is this?” she asks him because he knows more about the Force than she does. The scene around them shifts, the buildings are suddenly blurry and the cold ground disappears completely. Instead, they find themselves in the dark hall. There are four doors there, three of them closed and only one slightly ajar.

Rey activates her lightsaber, its light illuminates her face. Her eyes are focused but he still can sense her shock.

“It's the Force.”

“You've felt it too,” Ren murmurs.

Rey looks at him. She doesn't like him, that's still obvious. Still, she nods. “It was tension. I could feel it in the air and tonight it vanished.”

She looks around, holds her lightsaber in front of herself. She never points it at Ren directly even though he's the only monster she should be afraid of. Ren doesn't take out his weapon. It's still too soon, his senses tell him that they are not in danger. 

“Why?” Rey next to him whispers.

Ren doesn't bother with an answer because he hears a faint sound, someone's quickened breaths. He moves without thinking, his steps heavy against the wooden floor as he marches towards the half-opened door. He doesn't step in. Instead, he observes the empty walls and the window in the middle. There is a billboard on the building behind the window and its pinkish light is illuminating the room and the figure kneeling on the ground. With their head lowered down and face covered by hair, it takes Ren a moment to understand that it's a man. He is weeping. His face is pale, eyes closed and he looks out of it. His hands are clasped tightly together, he looks like he is holding something but it's hard to tell what it is. 

Ren can feel Rey's presence behind his back. Her lightsaber shines in the darkness. He pushes her away. Rey stumbles back, then hits the ground with a groan. Ren's elbow hits the doorframe and the door opens even more. The man on the ground stiffens. He raises his head, his eyes are swollen but piercing blue.

“What-?” Rey is about to ask, her voice clear. “He can't see us.” They are just a projection, from experience Ren knows that normal people are not supposed to see them. But the man's eyes widen. They seem a bit unfocused but it's very clear that he can not only see them but also hear them.

“Ah,” Ren realizes as first what is happening. He pushes Rey away and she is in such a state of shock that she stumbles into the hall and her back hits the wall. Her lightsaber falls on the ground. Ren makes the move first. His steps are confident, he knows what he is doing.

“I miscalculated,” he tells the man even though he has a feeling that he won't understand him until much later. “I thought there were only me and Rey.” He kneels down, his hand reaching for him and he brushes the man's cheek. He can see a bit better now the unusual color of the man's hair. The man's breath hitches, he doesn't lean into Ren's touch but neither does he pull away.

“My mistake,” Ren tells him. “I should take care of it.  Come here,” he commands him. Something about the man's face changes. He looks angry all of the sudden. Even though he doesn't make a sound, he kicks his leg in Ren's direction and bares his teeth. Even though tears are still rolling down his cheeks, he looks dangerous, murderous. Ren grabs his wrist. “Shh,” he shushes him rather gently. “There is no need to be afraid.”

His hand moves lower. There is something hanging around the man's neck. Ren takes a hold of it. Those are dog tags! Is he from the First Order? Ren looks at him closely. It may be possible, but why the Force led him here, why not show this man directly?

“Interesting,” he mumbles. The man suddenly pushes him away and the force of the impact sends Ren stumbling backward. He is still holding the dog tags. There is blood on the side of the man's throat. It's just a small scratch. The man seems unaware of it.

“You shouldn't have done that. I am not here to hurt you.” At least, not now. This man could be useful in the future. If Ren is right…. this vision… the fact that he can see them… it can only mean one thing.

Well, there is not enough time to think about it because the man suddenly ignites a… wait, he has a lightsaber? Ren jumps back because he doesn't really want to find out whether he can be hurt in this state or not and the strange man falls down on his knees, holding the lightsaber steady in his hands. It's clear that he knows how to hold a weapon even if he is not sure how to use this one yet. 

He stares at the man in front of himself with an interest that is hidden by his mask. He looks quite young and absolutely shocked. He holds the lightsaber in a tight grip and it's very clear that it's the first time he sees the blade springing to life. Tears are still rolling down his cheeks, glittering in the blue light. His eyes are focused only on the blade as if his life depended on it, the strands of red hair are curling around his cheeks. Ren can see himself in the window behind the man, sees the pinkish light of the billboard and the shape of his body, the mask and the uniform. The blue light is filling the room, chasing the darkness away, spilling around them like blood. There is malice in the man's eyes with his focus now on the lightsaber, more malice than Ren holds inside his chest. 

But of course, that's when Rey joins them again. She moves quickly, her lightsaber cutting the air but Ren avoids her. However, because of that, he must take a step away from the man. Rey is now standing between the two of them.

“You really must enjoy annoying me.”

There is no time for Rey to answer because the room starts spinning around them. Ren grits his teeth because he knows what it means.  It all happens in the blink of an eye. Ren stumbles. Then he laughs when the connection breaks. Rey blinks in confusion. She deactivates her weapon.

“What was that?!” she hisses because she still doesn't understand.

“The Force showed us how to end this war,” Ren says with his teeth bared. He is excited, he feels alive. “Don't you understand?” he turns around to face her. His hands are spread in the air, the world around them is disappearing quickly. Still, he manages to get his message through. “There is a new player in this game.” Rey gapes at him in sudden understanding. “And whoever gets him first, wins.”

He looks down. The dog tags are still in his hand. He notices the drops of drying blood belonging to the man, the other Force-Sensitive. He reads the name atop the dog tag along with the number. “Armitage Hux.” If he is part of the First Order, Ren will find him and if not, Ren will hunt him down until he gets him.


	2. Chapter 2

Hux thinks that Jakku deserves to be called the end of the fucking world.

The mere hours he spends on his surface destroy the last bits of his good mood from this morning. The air is dry, the sand burning even though the soles of his boots. His forehead is damp, lips cracked and bleeding. At some point, he slows down his quickened pace, already breathless.

He follows the crowd and mixes in where it's the thickest. The light clothing dirty from dust is good enough for two reasons. One; his appearance doesn't draw any necessary attention and two; it brings him more salvation from the heat that his greatcoat could ever offer. The hat on his head is just an unnecessary accessory to hide the color of his hair and what can't be hidden is now soaked in sweat. That way his hair looks much darker than usual and he could pass for a brunette in case someone was watching him closely.

_ Have you found it? _ Takato asks him. In the past, he used to be startled by her voice even though it was he who gave her access into his mind. Now is his reaction much more subtle and even despite it he masks it by cocking his head to the side.

_ It's white, _ she explains to him once again.  _ But I heard them speaking and they served it with some kind of cream. It's supposed to be sweet. _

Hux looks around. There are many stalls around him but he can't find the food Takato is describing to him.  _ You should be able to eat anything,  _ he thinks grimly and freezes when someone bumps into him. He catches the profile of that person, their frog-like eyes before they move and stop in front of one of the stalls, pointing their brown fingers at something that is supposed to resemble a fish. Hux doubts that one can go fishing around Jakku and starts wondering if it's really a fish after all.

_You are grumpy today._ _Going out serves you right. It's good for your body._ That's true perhaps but Hux is not happy to hear it when he knows that Takato is resting inside their perfectly cold ship, shielded from the heat he is now facing.

_ I am hungry!  _ she continues her whining.

Hux starts walking even slower. He can't find any food, just metallic pieces of ships sold for much more than they are worth. 

_ This planet is junk-yard,  _ he says even though he usually doesn't give Takato any of his insights. It just stirs the conversation. Takato is quiet for a moment. Hux can feel her presence not so far away. She is moving, probably finally climbing out of the bed.

_ I know, _ comes her sharp answer after a while.  _ I told you that. But you insisted. _

Well, it's true that Hux wanted to come here. He has a good reason for it. Two weeks ago, he caught wind of rumors that claimed that the Supreme Leader of the First Order finally made his move and let his hounds run loose. It wouldn't have concerned him that much if he hadn't met Ren by accident during his short visit to Arkanis and things went downhill from there. Knowing that Knights of Ren are now looking for something for their Master forced him to make his move. His unfortunate meeting with Ren not only revealed his face but also the fact that he is a Force-Sensitive. To count two and two together afterward wasn't that hard.

Hux finally spots what he's been looking for all along. He comes closer to have a better look. Just as Takato said, the food she sent him to find is really white, filled with some kind of strange cream. He catches the attention of the woman sitting behind the stall and gesticulates towards the food.

“You want to buy it?” she asks him, her voice high-pitched. Her hands are shaking as she picks it up for him. He shows her one finger, indicating that he wants only one bun but she looks at him and her small eyes skim his thin figure. “I think you need it more than I do.”

Hux remains quiet, he refuses to point out that of two of them, that woman is certainly far more in need. Still, he pays for two buns instead of one as he originally planned. It's not kindness, he just dislikes owing anybody anything. He gives the woman credits and waits while she moves around, trying to find some kind of paper to wrap his food up. It's just an accident that he turns his head to the side and sees him.

The Knight Ren, talking to some alien with his bulky body bent down, listening. His face is hidden but it's the mask that reveals his origin and Hux feels as his heart skips a beat. It's unfortunate that Takato speaks up to him at that very moment.

_ Have you found it? I am getting hungry... _

Hux has no idea how the Force works, he just sees as the Knight flinches and then straightens himself. Hux carefully looks back at the woman and takes the food from her. He nods his head to show his thanks and then he starts walking. The worst is that to get back on his ship, he needs to walk past the Knight. He must think quickly, not to show any hesitation because that way they'll catch him. 

So he does the only thing he can. Hux lowers his head, puts the buns inside his bag and holds it close towards his chest as he moves forward. It takes him eleven steps to reach the Knight, the twelfth will decide whether he ends up as a free man or not tonight. His mind is now focused on two things, keeping Takato at bay and holding the bag close. He carries in it his most valuable possession, the lightsaber he stole from the First Order as a child and ran away with. 

If the Knight finds out about it, Hux knows it's game over. It's tough to explain why he has a Jedi weapon with him and surely it would buy him a one-way ticket to meet the Supreme Leader. And even if Ren doesn't find out that Hux is Force-Sensitive, even if he miraculously doesn't remember his face, someone in the First Order surely will remember the bastard son of Brendol Hux and that would be the end of him.

Perhaps it's his lucky day, but when Hux passes the Knight, he notices that the bulky creature is focused on something else. He walks away and not once the Knight reaches for him to stop him. Perhaps he didn't sense anything at all and Hux was just being paranoid. He takes a few more steps and then he turns around and finds out that the Knight is still unmoving, starting at… Hux follows the line of his sight and there he is, a man loudly chatting with the woman he bought buns from earlier. The Knight finally moves, charges towards the man and Hux turns on his heel. This doesn't concern him any longer.

_ You cut me off!  _ Takato comes at him with full force. She sounds pissed. 

_ I met Knight of Ren, _ Hux explains to her briefly. His pace is now hurried. He can't wait to be back in the safety of his own ship. 

_ You told me that they won't be able to find us here.  _ Takato says ' _ us' _ but what she really means is ' _ you _ '. 

Hux has to agree. He took a calculated risk, that's true. It's not a secret that Rey lived here and it seemed to him logical that if the Supreme Leader is looking for another Force-Sensitive, he might start here on Jakku. So by the time Hux came here, this place should have been thoroughly searched through. For once he seems to be wrong. Only if… what if they came back.

He quickly erases that thought. Impossible! If Ren knew that he was here, he would have been caught a long time ago. The Knight didn't recognize him at all and Hux plans to use it to his advantage. He must leave as soon as he can because he can't afford to make another calculated risk.

_ We must leave. _

_ Where?!  _ Takato seems annoyed. Though she is used to being on run, she is not happy about their current situation.

_ Outer Rim.  _ It's easier to get lost there. Even if Ren got a trace of him, it's impossible to find someone once they are in Outer Rim. Hux should have made that move earlier.

In his hurry, he doesn't notice that someone is running after him. “HEY!” It takes Hux a while to understand that he is being addressed. Then a hand wraps around his middle and pulls him to the side. His back collides with someone's chest and the bag falls out of his grasp.

“Careful,” a dark voice whispers close to his ear.


	3. Chapter 3

For a single moment, Hux can feel as the lightsaber hidden inside the bag twitches. As if they were connected, Hux feels as shivers run down his spine. He pulls away in the exact same moment as the man lets go of him.

Hux once again inclines his head, seemingly showing his gratitude and takes a step back. “Hey!” the same voice screams after him. “Don't tell me you are leaving!”

Hux freezes. He looks up even though he is sure that most of his face is now shielded by that stupid hat he wears so the man most likely sees his chin and lips pressed into a thin line. From this position, he catches the glimpse of the man's upper face, his slightly narrowed eyes. Even that short look is enough for Hux to recognize this man, no… Upon close inspection, he notices that he is quite young. Even though he is impossibly tall his face holds no trace of real maturity, only of boyish charm.

“That's what I thought,” the youth says with a curled lips and pats Hux's shoulder. “What an interesting creature you are! I should invite you for a drink if you are not opposed-?” He looks at Hux with expectation in his dark eyes. Hux wants to refuse him but then his eyes once again catch a glimpse of the Knight and he knows he has only two choices left. So he grabs the youth's outstretched hand and entwines their fingers. He can't feel much through the gloves, only a ghost of a touch.

_ Hux?!  _ Takato reaches for him again. Her voice is dripping with concern. He can almost imagine her face, nails bitten and bloody from worry.  _ Where are you? You should be back already. _

_ Trouble, _ he informs her but because he is not screaming inside his mind she recognizes that it's not that kind of trouble, only a temporary one.  _ The Knights of Ren are here. Or at least one of them. _

_ You should come back to ship. _

_ Can't. I ran into someone.  _ He glances at the youth walking by his side. A few moments ago he was sure that he'll be interrogated by the Knight in Hux's place and that thought alone brought him solace. But now he is again on the edge, counting his mistakes as he goes. He has to resist looking up at the sky just to check whether the Star Destroyers have already arrived. But there are no shadows on the sand, Hux sees only a pair of legs moving in unison.

The youth stops walking all of the sudden. “Wait for me here,” he says quietly and Hux raises his head just in time to see as the young man enters a shabby building in the corner of the market. He can still feel the burning sensation of being touched even though it was only through the gloves.

_ He is gone, _ he tells Takato.  _ That fucker left me standing here. _

_ It's suspicious.  _ Hux can't help but agree. He turns on his heel a second time that day and is prepared to leave. The sooner he gets back on the ship, the better. He is wasting time here, the precious time he can't afford to lose right now.

But because it's not his lucky day, his hand is caught in an iron grip and the youth appears in front of Hux once again. Hux grits his teeth in annoyance but he keeps quiet.

“It's not nice to trick people like that,” the boy says, keeping his tone light. “I thought we could have a friendly chat.”

Hux says nothing. The youth bents down so that he is staring directly beneath the hat. “Can you speak?” he asks and judging by his tone, he is genuinely interested. “It doesn't seem like you can.” Hux decides to let him believe what he wants to believe.

The youth then pushes a glass into his hand. Hux stares at it quietly, not sure what he is supposed to do with it.

Takato senses his confused thoughts.  _ It's for drinking. _

_ It looks like piss. _

“My name is Ben,” the youth continues. He clearly ignores the look of disgust that appears on Hux's face for a moment because he can't hide it very well. “You could write yours into the sand.” So he clearly assumed that Hux is mute.

_ Is he pretty? _

_ Annoying as hell,  _ Hux shoots back. It's true and at the same time Hux can't deny that Ben is attractive in a certain way, he is Hux's type after all. Tall, strong and dark. If the situation was different, Hux might think of something else before shooting Ben dead. Unfortunately, at the moment he is not really interested in anything that Ben has to say and his fingers keep twitching. It would be far too easy to grab his blaster and finish this comedy in an instant but not only would he bring unwanted attention to himself, he would also most likely blow up his cover. It's easier, even if more annoying, to pretend that he can't speak and wait for Ben to be over with his chit-chatting.

Except, when Hux finally finds a reason to return Ben his still full glass of some strange substance, Ben's look completely changes. His eyes seem darker somehow, his expression is still grinning but there is something dark about it, almost predatory.

He leans closer, his lips brush the shell of Hux's ear. Hux shivers. It's because he can't remember the last time he had a chance to stand so close to someone who is practically his living daydream and honestly it's annoying.

_ I can hear what you're thinking,  _ Takato ruins the moment and Hux's eyes snap open. He is back in reality and feels as Ben's hands grab his hips to steady him. 

“Are you the reason why the Knights of Ren appeared here out of nowhere?” he asks and the situation turns serious again. Hux refuses to speak up. “There are two of them, browsing the market ever since the dawn. They are looking for a man, though they haven't specified what kind of man. I overheard them talking to the woman you bought your food from. Perhaps you do not know,” he pauses and Hux's hand moves down, swiftly reaching for his blaster. But Ben stops him. It only proves that he is not an ordinary youth because his movements are smooth, deadly. It would be better if Hux killed him.

_ He might know, _ he tells Takato.

She is quiet for a moment.  _ Should I come?  _ she asks. But that's the last thing he needs. So he refuses her and commands her to stay on the ship. He won't endanger her life no matter what.

“They are behind us. Getting closer. It will take two minutes before they reach us. What are you going to do about it?” Ben continues. “Do not think of shooting, I am much quicker than you are. Trust me.”

Hux stands up on his tip-toes only to find out that Ben is not lying and that now two Knights are pretty quickly moving towards them. One of them already has his hand on his weapon and Hux doesn't need to be smart to understand that now it's time to run. However, he does an illogical thing and grabs Ben's hand. He forces him to move, then they both start running. Ben catches up to him pretty quickly and follows Hux's lead as they run through the market. Hux is already breathless, he can feel the dry air hitting his face and his lungs burning inside his chest. He can hear the heavy footsteps behind them. The Knights make no other sound, they are not shouting, only hunting their prey.

“Here!” Ben grabs him and into a smaller alley. Hux loses his balance as he stumbles forward and grabs Ben's jacket before he can fall. The sand beneath his feet is slippery and the worst thing is that he doesn't immediately notice the hole in the ground in the shadow of the building surrounding the ally. Because of Ben's support, he doesn't fall in but it's a close call.

He sees as the Knights pass the alley in hurry, soon disappears the sound of the footsteps. Hux remains unmoving for the next few moments and then he throws his bag on the ground and takes a deep breath.

He is far from relaxed now.

_ FUCK. FUCK. FUCK!  _ Takato chooses not to react so Hux is left with his thoughts alone. He looks at Ben. He is now leaning against the wall, laughing like a madman.

“That was something,” he says with a careless smile. His eyes are sparkling in excitement. “I knew you would be fun.”

Hux doesn't share the same idea of fun. So he straightens his hat and brushes the sweat that formed above his brow. He waves Ben goodbye without even sparing him a glance. He hears as Ben stops laughing and then grabs the back of Hux's shirt and forces him to stumble back. But this time he doesn't collide with Ben's chest, it's so much worse. Hux sees Ben's face and feels as his body starts falling backward. 

He scrambles to grab Ben's hand when it's offered to him and uses his legs as leverage. Other than that, the rest of his body is now just above the fucking hole in the ground where he almost fell a few moments ago and Ben is towering above him. Hux feels as his face turns tomato-red and his nails dig into Ben's forearm. It brings no desired reaction, instead Ben looks bored.

“Well, perhaps I am mistaken,” Ben says, “but it looks like you are going to die.”

Hux bares his teeth and then spits into Ben's face, consequences be damned!


	4. Chapter 4

“Are you mad?!” Hux screams. His body is now tilted and if Ben lets go of him he knows it will be his end. So Hux holds his hand tightly, refusing to let go of it.

Ben smirks at his distress. “Now, now,” he says, voice honey-sweet. “So you can speak after all. It's impolite to ignore a friend.”

“It's impolite to threaten someone and push them into a fucking hole,” Hux growls at him in return. He moves his head and the movement is too rash because the hat covering his face gets loose and falls down. Hux blinks in confusion when his vision suddenly clears and he finds himself staring into Ben's unmoving face. Cold sweat runs down his spine, sending chills over Hux's body. He is on the brink of meeting with death and he truly doesn't enjoy this experience.

“There, there,” Ben tries to calm him down even though he is the very reason why Hux is now in this situation. “Stop moving or you truly might fall.” Those words are followed by a smile. “And neither of us wants that, right?”

Hux refuses to say a word.

“Do you have a name?” Ben asks out of curiosity.

“Does it matter right now? There are better questions you could be asking!” Hux dares to glance down. He is staring into the abyss. His stomach twists. Ben, on the other hand, acts casually about this whole mess.

“I don't think you are in the position to speak to me in such a tone,” he says and loosens his grip on Hux. The only thing that prevents Hux from falling is the fact that he still tightly holds Ben's hand. Otherwise, he would end up as a dead man.

_ He is mad!  _ he informs in his panic Takato.  _ Completely and utterly mad! _

He notices as Ben narrows his eyes and Hux makes his decision. “It's Armie,” he utters, gritting his teeth together. He kicks his legs and then loses his footing and already feels himself slipping. Fuck.

But then Ben grabs his shoulders and hauls him back up until they are standing face to face, both of them with their feet firmly planted on the ground. Hux takes a deep breath and then he pushes Ben aside, falls on the knees and promptly throws up.

_ Weakling!  _ Takato screams loudly inside his head but Hux ignores her. Ben behind him sighs and kneels down too. He tips Hux's head to the side and takes a hold of his chin. Hux's eyes are watery and his stomach is still turning upside-down. He wants to slap Ben's hand away but before he gets a chance to do so, Ben caresses his cheek and Hux freezes.

“It was not my intention to scare you.”

Hux finds himself staring at Ben in disbelief. Did this oaf truly think that Hux found that whole ordeal exciting? He hits his chest and then grabs his blaster like he wanted to do a long time ago and points it at Ben's head.

“WHOA!” Ben raises his hands in the air but he doesn't seem scared. It makes Hux even angrier. 

“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asks, not even trying to hide what he thinks of Ben. “Perhaps I should end it here.” He puts his finger on the trigger but Ben speaks up before he pulls it.

“You could,” he practically purrs. “But it would make noise. And the Knights are already after you, aren't they? Pull the trigger and you'll be just as dead as me. Perhaps even worse.” 

The thing is that Ben is right. Hux's priority is to get off this planet without being noticed and killing Ben will start the hunt. “Fine,” he grumbles and sits down. The shadows cooled the sand down. It feels nice against his heated skin.

“Why are they going after you?” Ben asks. “I mean, the Knights of Ren don't usually catch petty criminals. Unless they are mort important. What have you done to the Supreme Leader to offend him?”

Hux rolls his eyes. “I've never met that man,” he says. It's half-lie and half-truth. They've never met directly, only through the Force and Hux is already doubting himself whether it was real, whether it really happened.

Ben shrugs. “If you say so. But right now you seem like a liar to me.” He glances at the bag that is still lying on the ground. “Perhaps they are hunting you because of that.”

Hux glances at the bag as well. “Impossible,” he says. He doubts that the Knights of Ren are looking for him because of the lightsaber if they are really looking for him. Perhaps it's just a mistake.

_ We both know it isn't,  _ Takato says.  _ Everything happens for a reason. Now tell me more about your companion. _

_ He is mad. Clearly. It would be better if he died. _

_ You like him.  _ She giggles. Hux ignores that sound and looks at Ben. 

“Well,” he says, “ thank you for your help but I think we should go separate ways.” Ben shakes his head almost immediately. Honestly, Hux should have expected that.

“What do you want from me?”

“I am not sure yet,” Ben says honestly. He is still looking at the bag. “I just want to make sure…” he moves towards it and reaches for it but Hux snatches it and pushes him away.

“That's mine!” he yells. “Don't touch it.”

“So you are hiding something!” Ben playfully smiles. He ignores Hux's protests and tries to reach it again. Hux stands up and pushes his hand behind himself to prevent Ben from touching the bag. 

“It has nothing to do with you,” Hux continues speaking as he takes a step back, forgetting there is a hole behind him in which he almost fell twice now. It seems that the third time is in order. “Don't touch me!”

Ben ignores him. He is taller than Hux and that's why he can easily grab Hux's hand and bring it closer to snatch the bag. Hux realizes it quickly and that's why he jumps back. Ben's eyes widen in horror when he realizes that Hux is once again close to falling and he wraps his arms around Hux's middle to help him keep his balance.

That movement startles Hux and he lets go of the bag. It falls but not on the ground but right down the hole. It all happens very quickly. Both men freeze. Hux opens his mouth in shock and then tries to slap Ben's hands away. It's already too late. He can't see his bag anymore. The hole must be pretty deep because neither of them can hear as the bag hits the bottom.

“What have you done?!” Hux grits out, shaking in rage. That lightsaber was the most precious thing he's ever owned. It was the only thing he took from the Order, hell, he killed his father with it. And now he lost it because of this brat.

“Fuck,” is all Ben says. He looks guilty. 

_ Hux?  _ Takato asks. Hux can't bring himself to say another word. Ben quickly grabs his blaster before Hux gets an idea and starts shooting recklessly. 

“Okay,” he says. “I trust you now. Don't worry.” He pats Hux's cheek and tugs at his hand. “We should get going, shouldn't we? Do you have a ship here or something-”

Hux jumps at Ben and wraps his hands around his throat. “I am going to kill you, you bastard!” 

Ben doesn't seem scared. He wraps his own hands around Hux's throat as well. “Kill me and I will kill you, do you understand, pretty boy?” Hux ignores him and his fingers dig into the skin of Ben's throat. Ben repeats the movement and Hux finds himself unable to breathe. He fights against his instincts but then he lets go and Ben follows his lead.

They both are gasping on the ground, Hux redder than Ben. “Do not worry,” Ben promises him. “I will buy you a new bag.”

He sends Hux a reassuring smile. Hux groans. It's not the bag he's missing. "I hope you die," he utters in return. Ben only laughs.


	5. Chapter 5

When they finally get to Hux's ship, it's already evening. The air is much colder now and Hux feels as chills run down his spine. Ben doesn't look bothered, at some point he even throws his jacket over Hux's shoulder.

“It's because you're shaking,” he explains himself when Hux looks at him with killing intent. It's a thoughtful gesture and yet despite the good intention hiding behind it, Hux takes off the jacket and throws it back at Ben.

“I don't need it,” he says, his tone still bitter. When he told Takato about his great unluck, he didn't quite mention what was inside the bag. They are close but not that close and Hux still thinks that keeping a secret or two is in order. Takato didn't give him any advice, only shortly mentioned that it's a pity but Hux didn't expect anything more from her. 

Ben looks at him strangely. “What a complicated man you are,” he says and keeps the jacket thrown over his shoulder. “I don't like wasting time on arguments I know I can't win.”

Hux only narrows his eyes when he hears it because that way is Ben indirectly telling him that he is acting petty. His skin itches when he hears that insult but he doesn't want to start a shouting match and so he only quickens his pace and gets to his ship as first. Briefly, he thinks he should turn around and wave Ben goodbye, tell him that he doesn't need to follow him around like a lost puppy but just like Ben, he can sense that this argument is already lost so he simply gets inside his ship and hears Ben's heavy footsteps as he follows him.

“Takato!” he calls out loud and at the same time he searches for her presence. It's the only thing he can use Force for. Takato is aware that he is a Force-Sensitive. In the past, she used to fear him but now he knows that his ability to tell when somebody is nearby is making her feel safe. If Hux is angry, he can make lights flickers or occasionally throw an object without touching it but it happens only rarely and he never has enough patience to really learn how to properly use it. It's also very hard without a teacher or anything that could serve as his guide. Hux doesn't view that as a big problem, the Force is only secondary to him, a small advantage he has but he is not obsessed with it as Ren. He sees it as dangerous and that's why it's better not to use it to the full extent. 

Soon, he hears Takato's footsteps. She appears out of nowhere, just suddenly stands in front of them. She is holding Millicent in her arms and the cat doesn't seem very happy about being pressed against Takato's chest.

“You're back,” she yawns. “I am already hungry.” 

She steps closer towards Hux, completely ignoring Ben's presence as if it was normal for Hux to bring strangers to his ship and walks around him. She is clearly looking for the buns she sent him to fetch but Hux can only offer his condolences. “My bag fell into a hole,” he tells her the same thing he told her a few hours ago. “Your buns were inside.”

Takato stops moving. She briefly relaxes her grip on Millicent and the cat falls on the ground. She hisses and sits down, finally free and glares at Hux before she starts licking her paw. Takato looks at Ben and her lips are pressed into a thin line, her cheeks are turning red.

“So it's him,” she says. Hux slaps his hand across her mouth before she can say anything else. He doesn't need Ben to know about his special ability to communicate with Takato through his mind because he doesn't trust him yet. Takato already mentioned it was suspicious that they met today and Ben mentioned he knows that the Knights of Ren are after him. Takato looks at him and it seems that she understands.

Still, she pushes Hux away. “What are we doing to eat?” she asks. That's something she asks him very often. She is twelve but clearly, nothing in life interests her more than the idea of finding a good meal. One wouldn't say, especially because she is thin like a stick, just flesh and bones really. Hux kneels down and wants to pat Millicent's head but the cat shows her teeth and it's obvious that he is not welcomed.

“What have you done to her?” he asks, mildly annoyed.

“We played.”

“She looks traumatized.”

Takato sighs. “It's boring!” she says and throws her hands in the air. “It's a hard life when your only companion is a cat that hates you. Why can't you take her with you?”

Ben finally steps closer and in the moment Millicent sees him she runs away. Hux looks at Ben with a glare. The younger man doesn't seem shocked at all, he looks rather pitiful. “Animals simply don't like me.”

“It's the same with humans.”

Ben decides to ignore Hux's words. “Is she your daughter?” he asks. The answer to that question is very clear because Takato looks nothing like Hux.

“I am his friend,” Takato corrects him with an innocent smile. Hux knows that she is just faking it. She can be sweet but most of the time she prefers to be annoying. He swears that the only reason why he keeps her around is because he doesn't want to travel alone. Millicent doesn't count.

“Are you his friend as well?” Takato continues, head cocked to the side. She looks rather cute but Hux also knows how dangerous she can be.

Ben hesitates. No wonder when she is looking at him like that. Then he kneels down because he is too tall and Takato has to stand on her tip-toes to see him better. “I don't know,” he admits, his voice softer now. If Takato was an ordinary child, she would probably be fooled by his act. But she is not and Hux can see how she presses her lips together which means that she doesn't trust Ben. “Do you think he will allow me to be his friend?”

Hux snorts. “Stop being stupid. I have no idea why I allowed you to tag along. Don't you have other things to do?” 

He walks across the corridor. “We must make food,” he utters and Takato perks up. “Takato!” he calls for her and she comes running after him. “You can look around,” Hux tells Ben. “Perhaps you'll change your mind and leave.”

Ben winks at him. He seriously looks good. “I don't think so, mister.” Then he turns on his wheel and starts whistling to himself. 

Hux closes the door behind him. Takato's cheerful smile immediately disappears. “He is strange,” she says as she hops on the chair while Hux starts looking through his coat. He sincerely hopes there is some food left or Takato might eat him instead. He keeps his head lowered so that she cannot see his expression.

“I don't trust him,” he hisses and finally finds a packet of biscuits he's been keeping in his coat for years now. He throws them at Takato. She frowns at him but opens them without uttering a word of complaint.

“His name?”

“Ben,” he tells her and walks out of the room. Takato follows him closely, munching on the food he gave to her. She even tries to offer him one but Hux tells her that he is not hungry. She seems like he wants to argue but the way he looks at her makes her shut up.

“I can't be his real name,” she utters. 

“It is,” Ben assures her. He is leaning against the wall, looking cocky. “Are you talking about me?”

“So you're still here.”

“You seem surprised,” Ben says. “I am not leaving, you know. There is no place for me to go except for staying with you.”

“Why?”

“I find you interesting.”

“You met me a few hours ago,” Hux snorts. “That's not enough time to deem somebody interesting enough. So I am asking again. Why?” This time is his tone different, darker, laced with a silent threat. Ben looks at him without fear. It angers Hux to no end.

“I heard the rumors,” Ben says with a sigh. He seems to be ready to spill his beans. “Supreme Leader Ren is looking for something. Or someone. I came with that theory when I met you. You saw the Knights, that was enough to force you to run.”

“Anyone in their right mind would try to run from the Knights of Ren. I am not stupid, I heard that once they get you there is no way out. You are a dead man. So I avoided them.”

Ben smiles. It's not a nice smile. And it's not a nice look on his face. “Oh, no. You weren't avoiding them. You were running. So I figured that perhaps they are looking for you, perhaps you have something they might want.”

Hux understands that he is now playing a dangerous game. “Perhaps,” he says. “Or perhaps not. I think you are a fool. Why would the Supreme Leader want some smuggler?” He laughs but Ben is not convinced. 

“You tell me,” he prompts Hux to speak. “What is so important about you that the Supreme Leader might want you? If you are going to lie, come up with a good reason.”

Hux is silent for a moment. There is no way he can say that he is a Force-Sensitive, it would be a death sentence. So he comes up with another excuse.

“I stole something from him,” he says. “Something very important.”

“Show it to me then.”

“I can't,” Hux shrugs. “It was inside the bag you threw into that hole. It's gone now, probably destroyed.”

Ben doesn't seem happy with his answer. “So what was it then?” Takato steps in and points Hux's blaster at Ben. 

“TAKATO!” Hux screams at her. She doesn't move. 

“It's none of your business.”

Ben kneels in front of the barrel of her blaster. “Don't do anything silly,” he says and he truly looks dangerous. Hux has no doubt now, this man is not someone they should play with. Takato hesitates and she looks at Hux.

“There was a lightsaber in that bag,” Hux finally says the truth. There is no point in hiding it now. “I was meant to deliver it to the Resistance.” Well, that's a lie. The last time he had contact with the Resistance was when Snoke was still alive. “You destroyed that lightsaber. So it means you are my accomplice now. We are now on the same boat.”

Ben is quiet for a moment. It looks like he won't believe Hux. But then he starts laughing. “Very well,” he says and the darkness from his eyes vanishes in an instant. “We are now in this together.” Then he simply pats Takato's head. 

“Put that down before you hurt yourself,” Hux tells her. Ben is still looking at him. 

“I can't wait for our partnership, Armie.” His smile is very dangerous.


	6. Chapter 6

“FUCK!” Hux swears. He is not even trying to keep his voice down. He stares out of the viewport and then lowers his head and holds it in his hands. It seems that his unluck has begun ever since Ben entered his life. Takato in the seat next to him is quite tense. She has Millicent in her lap and strokes her fur while humming some song Hux doesn't know.

“What are they doing here?” Hux mumbles and starts the engines while looking at the sky. The Star Destroyers are no unmoving in the sky, as soon as the sun sets he won't be able to see them at all. It's impossible that the Knights recognized him so he doesn't understand how the fleet of the First Order found this place.

Hux briefly believes it's all Ben's fault. But as soon as Ben appears in the cockpit, looking all shocked, he understands he has nothing to do with it. His expression is too raw, Hux recognizes his shock and disdain and also… also rage? He doesn't think about it too much because they need to get out of here.

“You seem to be the source of our unluck,” he utters when they are finally in the air. Takato is very quiet and she holds Millicent very close. For once, his cat doesn't protest. Perhaps it's because she can feel that Takato is distressed. Ben leans over Hux's seat, he smells after leather and smoke. That's strange, Hux hasn't seen him smoke before.

“What do you want?” he asks, trying to focus on piloting. He is sure they get noticed, the key role will play whether the officers in the Star Destroyer decide to stop them or not.

“Even if they try to stop you,” Ben tells him in a serious tone, “don't listen to them.”

“I am not stupid,” Hux grits out. That's when they receive the first notification, a warning they should identify themselves and stop moving. Hux glances at him but Ben grabs his face and forces him to look in front of himself.

“HEY!” Hux screams at him and bites into his finger. Ben hisses but otherwise doesn't complain.

“They won't hunt every ship that passes around them,” he utters. It doesn't seem like he is speaking to Hux at all. His eyes are completely black now, no longer brown. It takes the Star Destroyer another few minutes to understand that Hux's shuttle is going to ignore their warnings. That's when Ben steps into the game. He pushes Hux out of the chair and tries to sit down. 

“What do you think you are doing?!” Hux screams at him and loses all his shit. He starts hitting Ben's shoulder and at the same time, the First Order starts shooting at them. Ben looks feral, like he didn't expect that Hux would go against him in such a situation. 

“I am trying to help you!” he growls, very displeased but Hux doesn't care about that. He wraps his hands around Ben's throat and presses him against the seat.

“I am the fucking pilot!” Hux reminds him unkindly. “I call the fucking shots!”

Ben's face is now so close they stare into each other's eyes. “They'll shoot us down,” he says. “Trust me on this one. I know what I am doing.”

“And why the fuck should I trust you!”

That's when they are hit the first time. The shuttle loses its balance and turns around. Hux also falls but Ben wraps his hands around his middle and pulls him towards himself. That's how Hux ends in his lap. They stare at each other and gape. Hux's hands are now gasping Ren's thighs, their faces are so close that their lips are almost touching.

Takato screams. Hux is pulled back into reality. He turns his head to the side and finds his companion curled on the floor with Millicent still violently pressed against her chest. The worst is that Takato is crying. Tears are rolling down her flushed cheeks and she looks so distressed that Hux's heart breaks for her.

“Stop it!” she pleads him. She doesn't say it out loud but he can tell that she is afraid. 

“Fine!” he barks at Ben. “Fly us back to safety!”

Ben wordlessly nods, clearly noticing how much Hux cares about Takato's well-being. “It's going to be alright,” he mutters, probably to calm down the entire situation and turns Hux around and pulls him deeper into his lap.

“What are you doing?” Hux gasps when Ben lowers his chin on Hux's shoulder. He can feel Ben's warm breath tickling his skin.

“I need to see,” Ben says a bit cheeky but the anger is still hidden in the tone of his voice. It's more subtle now, perhaps his fight with Hux helped to get rid of most of his temper. Hux must admit that Ben is a good pilot, better than average. He watches him as he skillfully flies until they are in the safe distance to make a jump.

“Don't move,” Ben tells him a few times while he is focused on flying. One of his hands slides down and starts drawing circles on Hux's abdomen. “I am almost done.”

Hux feels as his cheeks flush red. He clears his throat. “Takato?” he asks softly. “Are you two alright?”

He turns his head to the side and sees that Takato is still curled on the floor but at least she's not crying anymore. Millicent is licking her cheek and cuddling with her. “It's going to be alright,” he repeats Ben's words and feels as Ben smiles.

Finally, they get out of the dangerous situation, the world disappears around them and they jump into hyperspace. Ben relaxes but only for a moment. Then he lets go of Hux and Hux finally stands up. He quickly rushes towards Takato and picks her up. Millicent meowls angrily but he ignores her.

“I wasn't crying,” Takato tells him and it sounds so pitifully that Hux can't bring himself to argue with her.

“Of course,” is all that he says and walks with her into his room. There he lies her down on his bed. “You should sleep for now.”

“Inform me if anything happens,” she commands him and grabs the sleeve of his shirt. “Promise me.”

“Don't worry,” he pats her head. “It's a promise.” He caresses her cheek and she falls asleep. Once she does, Hux returns back into the cockpit. 

“Where are you taking us?” he asks. It's an important question, especially because he still doesn't trust Ben.

Ben looks at him. He seems thoughtful. “Away from the Order,” he says. “At least for a while. Is she-?”

“Her well-being is none of your concern,” Hux tells him honestly. “She is fine. That's all you need to know. I would like to keep it that way.”

Ben stands up and stretches his long legs. “Don't do something so stupid ever again! You could have killed all of us.”

Hux narrows his eyes. He feels the need to explain to Ben that they are not allies and there is no mutual trust between them. “I stopped fighting with you because of Takato,” he says sharply and takes a step in Ben's direction. “If she wasn't there-”

“Then what?!” Ben asks. “You would keep fighting me until we both died?”

“Trust must be earned,” Hux informs him in an arrogant tone. He runs his fingers through his hair. “You could have killed us.”

“I didn't. I saved you.”

Hux waves his hand. “So what now? You might kill us tomorrow. It took years for me and Takato to build trust and we still don't know everything about each other. Talking about knowing about each other, you only told me your name.”

“It's not important.”

“Not important?” Hux clicks his tongue, displeased. “It's up to me to decide that.” He runs his finger across Ben's chest. “When I first met you I thought you were a smuggler. Quite young but who am I to judge? But now I am not so sure.”

Ben rolls his eyes and once again sits down. “What changed your mind?” he asks, clearly joking around. “Don't tell me that my skills-”

“You are too good,” Hux cuts him off. And the tension in the cockpit rises once again. “You are too good to be just some smuggler. So you are not. Isn't it strange that we met on the day when the Knights of Ren appear on Jakku and then the First Order almost shoots down my ship? Are you working for the Order?”

Ben is quiet for a moment. Hux is sure that he will lie now, claiming that he has nothing with the Order. It will serve as proof that Ben is dangerous and needs to be killed. 

“I am,” Ben admits. Hux stares at him. He didn't expect that. What kind of fool admits such a thing? 

“Well, not anymore,” Ben corrects himself. “I used to be a Lieutenant. Quite a good position. Except things changed, the Order is not the same. It's boring now. So I left. You stole something from them, I killed someone from the Order. Trust me, they are not happy that someone like me is walking around. I could tell my secrets to the Resistance.” He laughs and Hux immediately knows it's not his plan.

“What do you want from me then?”

Ben shrugs. “I already told you. I find you interesting. Plus we are both on the run. It might be fun.” Hux doesn't believe him.

“We'll see about that.” Ben cocks his head to the side. 

“You think I am lying, don't you?” He licks his lips. “I know you are lying too, Armie. I think I know why the Order is after you. That lightsaber is not the only reason, is it? It's bigger than that. Tell me if I am wrong, but it must have something with the way you cut off your daddy's head, right?”


	7. Chapter 7

Canto Bight shines in front of his eyes and Hux hates it. He doesn't even try to hide his disgust when Ben comes to stand by his side.

“You can't always find the beauty in the light,” Hux tells him when Ben asks why he hates this place so much. After that, Ben looks at him strangely and a small smile appears on his lips. 

“To hear you say it,” he murmurs and then closes his eyes. “I've visited this place many times when I was still with the Order,” he utters. It's clearly a bitter memory because Ben doesn't look very happy. Hux wonders who died under Ben's hand. “I hated visits here. It all seemed insignificant. It still is.”

“Then you can stop coming here.” 

Ben grins. “If things were only so easy,” he says and it seems like he means it. 

Takato leaves them pretty early on. She disappears in the streets and Hux watches her as she goes. He won't stay in her way, he never does because he knows that she will come back.

“This place is dangerous,” Ben tells him after Takato leaves. “So why?”

“I worry about her. Constantly.” Hux quickens his pace and so Ben does the same. “But I found out that there is no point in worrying. She can take care of herself and if she can't she'll come to me.”

Ben hums in understanding. “So you are like a father to her?” Hux stops walking. He's never thought about it that way.

“No,” he says in the end. “I don't really see myself as her father.” A brother perhaps but not a father, Hux doubts he can really be a father to a child.

“So why this place?” Ben continues with questions. “If you don't want to be recognized, you should not go to places filled with the First Order's officers.”

Hux is not here because of them. This place is also filled with smugglers of all kinds and one of them reached for Hux. Hux knows him well, that man's been his mentor after he escaped from the Order and started his life as an orphan. But he doesn't want to tell Ben that. It's better if he keeps him in the dark about his life now, Ben could be a spy and any information is valuable. That's the first thing Hux learned a long time ago.

“Why would they be looking for me here?” he says with a smirk. “It's too obvious. They don't think I am stupid.” Ben for some reason thinks that Ren is hunting Hux down because he killed Brendol Hux all those years ago. Surely, there are people who would love to see Hux hanged for that crime but Hux is sure that Ren doesn't care about it. Not even Snoke cared enough. There is a different reason for that and if Ben knew, he would quickly turn Hux in. There is no better way than to win Ren's favor than to bring him the Force-Sensitive he is so desperately looking for.

“I owe you a drink,” Hux says all of the sudden. He needs to get rid of Ben so that he can go to the meeting alone. 

Ben looks at him strangely. For a single moment, it looks like he wants to protest but then he changes his mind. “Right,” he says. “If you insist.” Hux narrows his eyes as he walks closely behind the bigger man. They find a small place that is not quite full and Hux orders whiskey for himself. “What do you want?” he asks and looks at Ben.

“The same as you,” Ben tells him and then walks away to find a table. They sit down, Ben takes off his jacket which can only mean that he plans to stay here for a while. Hux places the drinks on the table and unbuttons his greatcoat. 

“I think you have a reason why you came here,” Ben hums as he takes the first sip. “But I have a strong feeling that you won't tell me.”

Hux only shrugs. “There are things you don't need to know.” Ben is clearly not satisfied with the answer but he doesn't push. “You said you were a Lieutenant. You must have access to information of all kinds.”

“Is that what you want to talk about? Any kind of information has a price,” Ben says. “What will you pay me with?”

Hux almost asks what he wants but then he chides himself for it. It's important not to ask that question otherwise he will give Ben a gun and means to pull the trigger. “There are different means of payment,” Hux says as he caresses Ben's hand and makes sure that the other man understands what he means. “But first drink up.”

He drowns the whiskey in one go. He licks his lips as he slams the glass against the table. Ben grins when he sees that.

“You really know what you're doing,” he comments but he finishes his drink slower, clearly enjoying the taste. Hux feels the familiar burning in his throat. 

“Another one?” he asks and stands up to order it without waiting for Ben's opinion. He brings filled glasses back to their table. 

“Well,” he commands. “Now speak.”

Ben's leg moves beneath the table. “You really like bossing people around.” The tip of his boot gently nudges Hux's crossed legs and they both remain still until Hux uncrosses them. When he does, Ben presses his boot against his inner thigh and keeps it there. Hux frowns and looks at Ben in confusion. Ben finishes the second drink and then reaches for Hux's. “But have you ever wondered if you might like being under someone else's control?” he wonders. The whiskey is not bad, fairly strong though Hux has drunk better.

“Hey!” he protests when Ben finishes Hux's glass too. 

Ben ignores him. His eyes stop on Hux. “We should get going,” he utters and then all of the sudden his boot presses against Hux's crotch. Hux bites into his lower lip, aware that the game between the two of them is changing now. He understands that Ben is now waiting for him to make his move. And so he does. He stands up abruptly and grabs Ben's hand.

“Don't forget your jacket,” he says and Ben moves his hand, it now slides up and down Hux's thigh.

Hux spares him one last glance and then he walks out without waiting for Ben. The air is cool, it sharpens his senses a little. Ben follows after him, his bigger body soon pressed against Hux's back. His breath smells of alcohol and Hux has a suspicion that Ben is a bit drunk. 

“We should find Takato,” Hux says.

Ben clearly doesn't agree because he grabs Hux's belt and starts unbuckling while his face is pressed against Hux's throat.

“She will find us,” he says and then bites down hard. Hux tenses, he feels as Ben's teeth tear through his skin but he doesn't fight him. “You said so,” Ben says after he pulls back. There is blood smeared across his mouth.

“You beast,” Hux grumbles and stops Ben before he comes any closer. “Not here. Anyone can see us.”

Ben seems to think about it for a while. “I wouldn't oppose,” he says but still he finds an empty alley and there he presses Hux against the wall. They kiss and for once Hux doesn't try to take a lead over the way their lips move. He allows Ben to get away with it and tangles his hands in Ben's hair.

“Is this a good kind of payment?” he asks.

As he expected, Ben's tongue gets loose. “Ask me anything,” he promises and his eyes are no longer focused. “I know things.”

Hux pets his hair. “You poor beast,” he whispers and if Ben hears him he decides not to react.

“Tell me, you surely must know why Ren set his Knights free.” He bites into Ben's ear and feels as the taller man shakes.

“I lied,” Ben admits between the kisses he presses against Hux's throat. “It wasn't because of you. It's that girl…” He is breathing heavily now. “He is obsessed with her. Rey. Yeah, that's her name.”

Hux closes his eyes. “Has the Supreme Leader ever asked about Brendol Hux?”

“Captain Phasma mentioned that name,” Ben says once again. “The Supreme Leader kept asking her questions but only briefly.” He tries to take off Hux's pants. Hux stops him. Ben looks at him confused. His face is all red now. There is no dignity left and Hux feels victorious.

“So Captain Phasma is still playing her game.” Hux dislikes that woman, he is aware that she would change the side if she could gain something from it. He truly hates people like that, without an aim, or belief.

“That's alright,” he pants Ben's cheek and Ben falls down on his knees.

“Armie?” he asks, confused.

Hux only rolls his eyes. This was very easy indeed. “Don't worry about anything. Just sleep. And when you wake up, I'll be gone.”


	8. Chapter 8

“You haven't changed at all,” Hux tells the old man. He observes the glittering lights of Canto Bight from the balcony. Somewhere down there is Takato walking around and Ben… Ben is lying on the cold ground, soundly asleep. If everything goes according to the plan, Hux and Takato will leave tonight and Ben will wake up tomorrow, alone.

Luc Wyld is Hux's old mentor. They met each other when Hux was twelve, a starved child with no place to return to. It was two years after Brendol Hux's death. During that time Hux briefly returned back to Arkanis but found there only an empty apartment and no trace of his mother's body. But even back then he knew that she was dead, there was no doubt about it.

“You've changed a lot,” Luc admits. He is over seventy now, truly an old man. It's a miracle that he is still alive. “I haven't heard about you in a while.”

“That's good,” Hux says. He tried to keep low, not to draw much attention towards himself. Not even Luc knows why he keeps running away, no one does. But this man is smart, not just street-smart, he is a fucking genius and Hux needs to be careful around him. He can trust him only as far as he can throw him.

“I imagined this meeting to go differently,” Luc admits after a moment. “I missed you, boy. You still look the same, scrawny and thin like a twig but your eyes turned colder over the years. At least you are not alone. Right?” His pale green eyes stop on Hux's face.

“You'll have to be more precise,” Hux tells him even though he has an idea about whom Luc is talking about.

“There is that girl that follows you everywhere. Have you decided to finally father a child?”

“She is not mine,” Hux tells him honestly. “She is an orphan I found once. I took her with me and she decided to stay.” The truth is that he sees a bit of himself in Takato. She killed her father just like he did and she dislikes talking about her mother. In a way, they both are just two lost souls without a family or home and so they found solace in each other. Hux was honest when he told Ben that Takato is not his daughter, he's never been a father to her. She truly deserves someone better but this is all Hux can offer to her.

“Then there is that man.” From the look in Luc's eyes, Hux can tell that the older man was prepared to mention Ben even earlier. That only means that Luc has eyes everywhere. Hux turns away from the glittering city.

“He is not important,” he says even though Luc will not believe him. He made his decision and it was to leave Ben behind. Ben is a liability, Hux is still not sure whether he is with the Order or against it despite his claims that he no longer belongs to it. But that look in his eyes… he is not a good man, he is just like Hux. And Hux knows himself. So he thinks he knows Ben well too.

“I met him while I was traveling,” he says. Luc gently pats his shoulder like a father would. But his eyes are cold. There is darkness hiding in his expression. “He told me he was a Lieutenant in the First Order,” Hux adds because he knows that it will catch Luc's attention. He is not wrong because Luc immediately looks up. He despises the First Order but he knows it very well.

“Is that so?” he asks, not even hiding his own curiosity. “What's his name?”

“Ben. That's all he told me. I can't be sure it's even real.” Hux shrugs. “He is no longer my problem. If you want to speak to him, you two can meet. I really want to leave this city behind tonight.”

“Ah,” Luc laughs. “It's your own way of telling to move to the business. Very well then. I came here because I have a favor to ask from you.” 

He motions Hux to sit down next to him. But Hux is wary. 

“Don't you trust an old friend?” Luc examines loudly and throws his hands in the air. 

“You taught me not to trust anyone,” Hux reminds him but he finally sits down. “What it is? I don't want to waste my time.”

Luc's expression completely changes. He looks around to make sure that no one is watching them. “Have you been paying attention to the rumors?”

“No more than usual.”

Luc clicks his tongue. He offers Hux a cigarette and Hux gratefully takes it. He calms down once he breathes in the burning smoke. “The war is going on for too long,” he says and looks into the distance. “It has to come to an end, sooner or later. The problem is that both sides have a good chance to win. So they need something to push them to victory. Ren failed. That girl, Rey… she won't join him.”

“I thought he gave up a long time ago.”

“So did I,” Luc admits. “Ren is not stupid. He is many things but not stupid.” He breathes out a cloud of smoke. The tip of his nose is red. “Both sides have one Force-User. It's quite balanced, wouldn't you say? I think Ren got it a long time ago and the Resistance is starting to understand now. They are good people but not the smartest.”

Hux rolls his eyes. “I am not here to talk about politics.”

“That's precisely why you're here,” Luc corrects him. “It's all about politics. And because Ren is one step ahead, he started looking for a solution. How long has it been since Snoke had died? Three months? A bit more? I am not sure now. Ren finally found what he's been looking for.”

“What is it then?” Hux has a bad feeling about that. He has a bad feeling when someone talks about the Force. “Don't tell me that's the reason why the Knights of Ren were walking around.”

Luc smirks. “Oh, so you've heard something.” Hux pulls out the cigarette from his mouth and stares at the tip. His mouth tastes after smoke. His stomach turns upside-down. “Yes. They were quite reckless while looking around.”

“Ben told me that they found what they were looking for.”

“I heard the same thing,” Luc utters. “But I don't quite believe it. If they found what they were looking for, there would no longer be any war.”

Hux's heart skips a beat. He feels paranoid now. The cigarette falls on the ground. Luc looks at him with disdain.

“You should be more careful,” he says.

“What were they looking for?”

“A new Force-Sensitive,” Luc says. “A new pawn in the game. Leia Organa is looking for them too. The Resistance is a bit slower than the First Order, I wonder who will find them first. I heard that the Supreme Leader knows their face.”

“What's my job then?” Hux asks. He is not sure whether Ben lied to him or not. 

“What's the name of that girl you're traveling with?” Luc asks all of the sudden. 

Hux looks at him, confused. “Why are you bringing her into this?”

“Because you are running Hux. I heard that you are afraid of the Knights of Ren now. I wonder why, they shouldn't be interested in you… unless…”

It all clicks all of the sudden. “You think that Takato is…?” Luc is very wrong right now and Hux is unsure whether he should feel relieved or angry. If someone discovered that stupid story, Takato would be in danger. Hux knows that Ren saw his face back then so he must know that the Force-Sensitive is not a twelve-year-old girl.

Hux stares at the man in front of himself as if he was mad. “What do you want from me? To deliver her to the Supreme Leader?”

Luc blinks. “Of course not,” he says. “You know what I think of the Order. They are monsters. I would never ask you to deliver them the means to end this war. No. I want something else from you.”

He leans closer then and wraps his hands around Hux. Hux tenses but he doesn't move away from the hug. 

“You are smart, Armie. So be smart now, okay? Listen closely. If you survive this, I want you to take that girl and run with her to the Resistance. They are good people and they will take care of her. Ren can't get her.” He presses their forehead together. “Do you understand? Do you promise?”

Hux slowly nods. “Yes,” he says even though he knows the truth. But then he remembers what he wanted to ask.

“If I survive this-”

In an instant, Luc holds a blaster pressed against the side of Hux's head. Hux swears. So this was a trap after all.

“You old fucker!” he screams.

Luc looks at him sadly. “I told you not to trust anyone,” he says, voice quiet. “There is someone who would like to meet you.”


	9. Chapter 9

Hux finds himself with his hands tied behind his back. Luc observes him with a sad expression. He still not finished with his cigarette.

“You were hard to find,” Enric Pryde informs Hux. “We've searched the entire Galaxy just to find you. You were just a child when you disappeared. How old were you?”

“Twelve,” Hux reminds him unkindly. “You remember that time right? You had real hair back then.”

Pryde has no sense of humor because he slaps Hux across the face even though he was speaking the truth. “As a child, you were always quiet. It seems that life outside the First Order destroyed everything your father tried to build.”

Hux decides to ignore that comment. He killed his father after all so he doesn't really care that he destroyed what Brendol tried to build. He wants to move his hands but he can't. The handcuffs keep him pinned on the chair, the only thing he can do is to kick his legs and that won't be any help right now. He really feels bitter because Luc is still holding his blaster.

Pryde turns towards him. He throws a small bag at him and Luc catches it before it falls. “Here is your payment.”

Hux grins. “What an honest man!” he says when Luc walks past him. “You said you despise the Order but you don't hate their money.”

Luc drops his blaster on the ground. “You are still young,” he says and seems sad. “You'll understand one day.” He pats Hux's shoulder and leans down. “Don't forget what we talked about,” he whispers. Hux doesn't look him in the way, the part of him is petty enough to refuse him. Luc sighs and lets go.

“I'll be on my way then,” he says to Pryde as he walks out. After that, Hux turns all of his attention back on Pryde. He observes his uniform. “You got promoted,” he says. Pryde takes a chair and moves it in front of Hux. He lights up a cigarette before he sits down and breathes the smoke into Hux's face. Hux coughs. 

“Many things have changed after you left,” Pryde starts quite nostalgic. “Brendol's death was rather unfortunate.”

Hux rolls his eyes. “You hated him just like I did. There is no need for pretense now. Tell me, have you ever imagined yourself in my place, cutting his head off? Oh, I see. You have.”

Pryde's expression doesn't change at all despite Hux's cruel taunting. “I don't care about his death at all,” he admits. “He was stupid enough to get killed by his bastard. Shame on him. It was just a matter of time. I warned him that you are just like your mother, that it would have been better if he left you on Arkanis to rot but he wanted a son so much. Still, you turned out to be quite a disappointment. He once even told me that if he knew you would be so sickly and weak, he wouldn't have Maratelle's daughter aborted.”

Hux says nothing at that. He admits he's never known that Maratelle was supposed to have a child. If that was the case then he can understand a bit better why she hated him so much back then. “Don't you want to know how I did it?” he asks. “Or do you already know?”

Pryde hums quietly. “I saw the record where you cut off his head. If I didn't see it, I would never believe you are capable of such a thing. Perhaps we were wrong, once you push a dog into a corner it can't do anything else but bite back. Still, it takes guts, little Armitage. Now when we are talking about the past. You stole something important that day. I wouldn't mind that much but the new Supreme Leader started to take interest in that little accident. He might as well pay you a visit soon.”

Hux laughs. He didn't think that Pryde would know about the lightsaber. Nor he did expect that he would talk so casually about the entire matter. “You want it back?” Hux asks and remembers where the lightsaber is now. “Even if I wanted to return it, I simply can't. It's gone. I lost it on my way, it's been years. I am a bit clumsy.”

Pryde's good mood disappears very quickly after that. He glares at Hux and presses his lips together. “You don't think I will believe it, do you now?” Hux cocks his head to the side. Judging by Pryde's dedication, he is very aware of the lightsaber's worth even if he is not particularly interested in it.

“You're a bit late,” Hux admits. He knows it would be better for him if he kept his mouth shut but he enjoys irritating Pryde. “The lightsaber is gone now.” Pryde seems very unhappy now and Hux thinks he knows why. So he relaxes his body and stretches his legs in front of himself. “Your boss won't be happy when you tell him that it's gone now. Am I right?”

Pryde slaps him. “What do you know about the Supreme Leader?”

There is not even an ounce of respect in his tone. “You might hate him more than the previous one,” Hux says. “Apart from that… let me think. I know what he is mad.”

“He used to be mad,” Pryde corrects him and takes a deep breath. He looks tired but Hux hates him too much to pity him. 

“Used to?” It catches his attention. When people speak about Supreme Leader Ren, the first thing they mention that he is like a rabbit dog. Hearing that it's not entirely true makes him wonder if other rumors about Ren are just another lie. He recalls their meeting on Arkanis. Unfortunately, he didn't get a chance to see his face, only that stupid mask and without being able to see his expression Hux can't really tell what kind of man Ren is.

Pryde looks up. “When Snoke died we all knew exactly what happened and Ren's never denied those claims. But we didn't think he would make it that far. Ren's always been at Snoke's command, no one thought that he would raise his hand against his master. Well, it happened. Naturally, he thought that he would begin to hunt that Jedi girl.” He rolls his eyes and it's evident what he thinks of Rey. “But he took the command and changed our old ways. He doesn't care for that girl at the moment.”

“Impossible.” Hux doesn't know Ren and yet he is still aware of the obsession he has with Rey. 

“Impossible or not,” Pryde says and throws his cigarette on the ground and steps on it. “I am more interested in something else. One day our Supreme Leader woke up and for some strange reason requested an old file with your name on it. And suddenly all he focused on a child that disappeared years ago and a lightsaber that even Snoke didn't care about."

Hux shrugs even though he might know a reason why that sudden change. “Don't tell me you are curious.”

Pryde grabs him by his throat. “Talking back to your superiors boy,” he clicks his tongue. “Someone ought to teach you some manners.”

Hux doesn't immediately panic. It hurts him when Pryde hits him again. He accidentally bites into his tongue and feels as blood starts filling his mouth. He spits it into Pryde's face and laughs out loud. When Pryde realizes what has just happened, he throws Hux on the ground and kicks into his stomach. Hux curls into a ball and tries to shield his head with his knees.

“Kill me now then,” Hux challenges him because he wants to know if Pryde has the guts to do it.

“I really want to do it,” Pryde admits. “It would be easy now. No one is around. No one would ever care.”

Takato would. But Hux doesn't mention it. Pryde doesn't need to know about Takato's existence.

“Why won't you then?”

Pryde kneels down next to the beaten up Hux. “I would not risk getting into the conflict with the Supreme Leader. No. He wants you so much. I have no idea why.” He caresses Hux's cheek but there is no kindness in his touch. “But I won't meddle into his way.”

He stands up. “Your friend left your blaster here. Try not to get in any accident before Ren comes for you. I want him in a good mood for the next few weeks at least. It makes it easier to work under him.”

“You could bring me to him,” Hux says because he wants to understand. “That would surely bring you a promotion.”

Pryde laughs at that. Hux hates his face. “I don't like Ren. There is no need to bring you as my prisoner. As far as I know, Ren is already tracking you. Perhaps I'll wake up tomorrow and you'll be by his side. We'll see, won't we?”


	10. Chapter 10

It takes Hux a little while before he finds the strength to stand up again. His knees are shaking and his abdomen is hurting. He grabs the blaster that is still lying on the ground and curses Luc's name over and over until he can't think about him anymore. He wraps his hands around his middle as he returns back on the street. Luc is long gone and so is Pryde. Hux is aware that he should be happy that he can get away, relatively unharmed. But he still hopes that one day he might meet with Pryde again to return him the favor. For now, he must get away from this place, nothing new.

He reaches for Takato.  _ Where are you?  _ he asks even though he knows that she dislikes when he talks to her all of the sudden. 

It takes a while before she answers. He can tell her that she is having fun.  _ Have you gotten rid of him? _

_ Yes. Ben is not our trouble anymore. We need to get away from this place.  _ Hux has to stop walking and leans against the wall because his ribs hurt. He is sure that Pryde broke something inside his chest. He gasps for breath and it's very painful.

_ Are you alright?  _ Takato suddenly sounds worried. She was probably able to sense that Hux is not feeling fine at the moment. Sometimes he wonders whether she is a Force-Sensitive too even though it's very unlikely.

_ Yes.  _ Hux doesn't want her to worry. Everything is fine as long as he's not bleeding. He raises his head and opens his mouth, taking in the cold evening air. It's oddly relaxing to know that he is still alive. He can't help himself but think about what Pryde told him. So it's very clear now that Ren knows who he is and according to Pryde, he is already tracking Hux down. He still doesn't understand why the Knights didn't take him as their hostage that day though.

“There you go,” a voice near his ear says and Hux looks to the side. He is forced to straighten himself as Ben starts walking, dragging Hux with him. Hux stares at him with badly concealed shock. 

“What are you doing here?!” he asks a bit too loudly. 

Ben looks unimpressed. “What does it look like? I came to pick you up. You should be grateful, you left me after all.” Hux starts to struggle. 

“You are supposed to be asleep right now!”

Ben shrugs.

_ What is happening right now?  _ Takato asks, reacting to his sudden distress.

_ Ben is not sleeping as he is supposed to. _

Hux is very angry right now. He has no idea what went wrong. He did everything, forced Ben to drink just enough to make him pass out and once he was drunk, Hux left him alone. Even if Ben woke up for some reason, he doesn't understand why he is sober right now.

“I don't fucking understand anything.”

Ben doesn't really seem to be eager to explain. “Take it easy,” he says and finally presses Hux against the wall. Hux frowns because he steps into the water and it gets on his greatcoat. He is now caged between Ben's arms. One of his hands is pinned against the wall, Ren has his fingers wrapped around his forearm.

“You were just faking it,” he utters. “Right. How stupid of me!”

“You are a good kisser,” Ben says with a smile playing on his lips. But he doesn't look very happy. “Have you had a lot of practice?” Hux glares at him. He knows what Ben is implying and the truth is that he's ever seduced only one man and it was a long time ago when he was just freshly seventeen. So no, he doesn't have that much practice really. But that's not what he'll ever admit in front of Ben.

“Don't be jealous now,” he says instead. Ben growls, he fucking actually growls and parts Hux's legs with his thighs. 

“You didn't want me to see, did you?” he asks, voice hoarse from rage. “With whom were you meeting? A Resistance scum?”

“It's none of your business.”

“So what now,” Ben hisses. “You're working for the Resistance? That's low of you!”

“I've never said I am working for the Resistance.” Hux is shaking in rage. “Didn't you claim that you left the Order? So why do you care now? It doesn't matter if you are on neither of those sides, does it?”

Ren presses his palm against Hux's chest, probably to keep him still. Hux hisses in pain and Ben freezes.

“What the hell…?” he pulls his hands away. “Are you hurt?” There is worry in his dark eyes, no trace of anger. Hux stares at him in disbelief.

“It's nothing,” he claims but it's very clear that Ben doesn't believe him.

“It's not nothing,” he says. “Any amount of pain can't be classified as nothing. Who hurt you? Those people you met up with?”

Hux shakes his head and then bitterly laughs. When Ben moves closer he sees that he is getting angry again. Soon, Hux feels as Ben grabs his chin and forces Hux to look at him. He is smirking a little, pressed so close that Hux can feel the heat of his body. Hux feels as his blood starts rushing downward. He tries to move Ben's legs but it's still pressed firmly against his thighs. Ben must have noticed that Hux's breathing has quickened.

“So you like it too?” he asks.

Hux slides his hand up and down Ben's chest. Then, all of the sudden, the dagger slides from his sleeve and he presses its blade against Ben. It would take just one small movement and Ben would find himself dangerously wounded.

“I've got you,” Hux says with a frown. 

Ben doesn't seem surprised at all. “I should have expected that,” he laughs. Then his thumb brushes Hux's lips and gently coaxes them to part. Hux bites him and Ben doesn't even flinch. It almost seems like he expected that.

“You are very predictable,” Ben tells him. “You should try harder.”

Hux sighs. “I have a very bad day right now,” he admits. “I tried to get rid of you. It wasn't a very successful attempt. Then I ran into your old colleague and he beat me up. Do you understand now or do you want me to go on?”

“My colleague?” Ben asks and seems to be deep in thought. When it takes him too long Hux lowers down his dagger. He is too tired for this.

“Let's get back on the ship.”

“Together?” 

“I can't seem to get rid of you,” Hux admits. “So what's the point now? I really want to sleep and take something for pain. So move on.”

“Who did you meet?”

“Pryde…” Hux says once Ben finally lets go of him. He stumbles into Ben's arms. “What is he now? Allegiant General or something like that. I keep forgetting.”

“Allegiant General,” is all that Ben says. They try to walk but Hux can't keep up. Finally, Ben gives up and lifts him into his arms. Hux protests a little but eventually, he wraps his hands around Ben's neck because he doesn't feel like walking.

“Don't forget about Takato,” Hux tells him sharply. “I am not leaving her here.”

“Right,” Ben says. Hux almost doesn't believe him until they return back on the ship and finds Takato already waiting for them inside.

“Put me down,” he tells Ben but Ben ignores him and so he must speak to her while lying in Ben's arms.

“Where are we going next?” Takato asks. She is looking around for Millicent to pet her but his cat is not in the mood for Takato's touching.

“I don't know,” Hux tells her. His ribs hurt like hell. He tries to move but Ben stops him.

“You need to rest.”

Hux glares at Ben but he doesn't argue. “Then take me to the bedroom.” Takato giggles and Hux feels as his cheeks turn red. “Not like that,” he says to the girl but Ben is already smirking. He pats her head as they walk past her and soon drops Hux into his bed.

Hux rolls on his back. He knows that Ben is watching him. “You are frowning,” Hux says. “You really must hate Pryde.”

“That old goat…” Ben closes his eyes. “He still doesn't know his place.” Ben's voice is cold now, steady. He is concealing his own anger.

“I've been hurt worse.” He motions Ben to come closer and sees Ben's lips twitch before he smiles. 

“You almost got me the last time with that trick of yours,” he says. “I know now that I should not trust you.”

“Don't trust anyone,” Hux tells him the same thing Luc reminded him tonight. Yet despite his warning, Ben bends over him. His hair tickles Hux's cheeks. They are now face to face. Hux wraps his hands around Ben's neck.

“Kiss me!” he demands.

Ben narrows his eyes. “Commanding already.” But still, he leans down and presses his lips against Hux. His hands are now close to Hux's head, keeping him suspended over him. Ben's kisses are nothing like he would expect, the moment he allows him to slide in Ben tries to get control over the kiss. Hux growls and bites into his lower lip but that doesn't stop Ben. He moves aggressively and yet Hux's never felt safer with anyone. 

“Enough?” Ben asks when they part.

Hux glares at him and rolls Ben on his back before he climbs on him. “More.”


	11. Chapter 11

Hux opens his eyes. It doesn't quite feel like waking up. Perhaps it's because he is no longer lying on the bed. When he turns his head to the side he finds out that Ben is no longer lying by his side like he did when Hux fell asleep and neither he is naked like the night before.

Instead, he is sitting on a chair of some kind. The room is big, much bigger than his bedroom and there are no windows, no doors leading inside. He stands up slowly and feels that his legs shake a bit. Hux curses under his breath. Ben was right to be cocky when he claimed he'll fuck Hux till he can't stand.

The air here is cleaner than he is used to. When Hux turns around and takes a better look. He was wrong when he called the place he was sitting on a chair, it's a throne really. Hux feels as chills run down his spine. It's not unusual having a throne, of course, not, Hux knows many people who are petty enough to actually own one. But he has a bad feeling about this place, as if something was waiting here, or someone.

“It took me quite a while to find you,” a deep voice speaks up. Hux tenses and then slowly turns around. A person in dark clothing marches towards him, his steps slow but heavy. There is a mask covering his face just like before when they met on Arkanis. 

His face must show just how happy he is about this meeting because Ren laughs. “Where am I?” Hux asks sharply and takes a step back when Ren approaches. He is very aware of the lightsaber hanging behind Ren's belt. He knows what has that weapon done and yet he admires it. He didn't use the lightsaber when he had it with him, mostly because he was afraid that Snoke might have sensed his powers. Apart from hiding, he's also never used such a weapon and was aware that he needed a teacher.

“On my ship,” Ren says and stops moving when he notices that Hux is backing away. “I am just here to talk, not to force you into anything.”

Hux narrows his eyes. It sounds like a lie. “How did you do it?” he wants to know. “I fell asleep somewhere else.”

Even though he can't see Ren's expression, he has a feeling that the Supreme Leader is having fun on his account. He still doesn't understand and Ren explains it to him soon. “It's the Force connecting us,” he says. “Your body is safe somewhere else.” From that Hux understands that Ren is not entirely sure where he is now.

“What do you want from me then?”

Ren cocks his head to the side. “So you know that I've been looking for you.” Those are no news, many mentioned that he caught Ren's attention but only Hux knows that it began on Arkanis when they met for the very first time.

“I sent my Knights,” Ren admits solemnly. “But you managed to escape from them. So I changed my plans and adjusted them accordingly.”

“Childish,” is all Hux says when he hears it.

Ren decides to ignore it. “It would be probably pointless to ask you where you are now. You won't answer, will you?”

Hux is not stupid. If he says even a word about his current position, by the time morning comes he'll be on Ren's ship for real.

“What do you want from me?” Hux reaches down and is happy to find out that he still has his blaster. “It's tiring to be hunted without knowing a reason why.”

Ren sits on his throne. He looks taller now than he looked back then. Hux feels a bit intimidated in his presence. He would feel perhaps a bit better if Ren took off his mask. He would lie if he claimed that he isn't interested in the way Ren looks. Some say that he is a disfigured monster just like his master was. 

“Are you aware of what you are?”

Hux says nothing and instead opts to be quiet. So Ren continues. “As far as I was aware, there was only once Force-Sensitive apart from me. Rey is good but not easily swayed. It's pointless to try to persuade her to join me.”

“I heard that you're madly in love with her.”

Ren laughs again. “It's not love,” he says. “I doubt she could ever love me back. I want things from her she cannot give to me. There is darkness in her, of course there is, but she still chooses the light.”

“So are you trying to persuade me instead?” Hux is starting to doubt Pryde again, if he thinks that Ren is getting better then he is completely wrong. “I've never cared for any of your sides. I have no interest in being part of this war.” All he wants now is to be free, spend his time with Takato. There is no way that Ren can promise him that Takato would be safe or that Hux might see the end of this war. It's too risky and Hux doesn't have Ren's belief in this matter.

“I see,” Ren sighs. “I've never expected this to be easy. Very well then.” He clasps his hands. “Then I guess I'll have to win your over.”

Hux narrows his eyes. “This is not some kind of competition!”

“It is,” Ren corrects him. “I am not the only one looking for you. The moment Rey found about your existence, she understood the same thing as me. In order to win, we must have you by our side. You think that the Resistance will let you go?”

He motions Hux to come closer and Hux hesitates. But then his body moves without the permission of his will and he ends up standing right in front of Ren. His limbs are heavy and he has a feeling that Ren has him under his control. Ren leans closer and grabs his face. His gloved fingers are cold. Hux bares his teeth in irritation.

“You are quite handsome,” he says. “I couldn't see it on Arkanis but now… I am fascinated by the color of your hair.”

Hux frowns when he hears it. “Let me go,” he says. “You masked pervert!” Ren stills his face when Hux tries to pull back. “Why the hell are you even covering your face! Are you that ashamed of how you look that-”

He can hear as Ren chuckles. “I can't decide whether you are stupid or not. Speaking to me in such a manner. I killed for less.” He sighs then and lets go of Hux. Hux stumbles back but Ren steadies him quickly. “I think it might be interesting once we meet face to face.”

“I would rather for that day to never come.”

Ren is now sitting relaxed on his throne. “It's true that you are a different kind of man. I was not wrong about you.”

Hux looks around. “Tell me,” he says and massages his jaw. “Doesn't have Supreme Leader other duties? A war to win?” 

“I am working on that.” 

“I am not going to say yes,” Hux warns him. He really means it. He doesn't know why but he suddenly thinks of Ben. He doubts he would be happy if their lives got tied up to the First Order again. It's already bad enough that he thinks about Ben this way. It's dangerous, either way, he is still not sure whether is Ben completely honest with him or not. 

“You'll have to choose side one way or another,” Ren tells him like it should have been clear from the beginning. “Neither I nor Rey is planning to let you go. But I think you will join me in the end. I think that you and I are the same after all. You'll understand later.”

Hux grabs his blaster and points it at Ren. “Don't you dare,” the growls in a warning. “You don't know me. Don't tell me otherwise.”

He imagines that if Ren didn't have his mask on, he would be smiling. 

“Please,” he says. “You can try to shoot me but I won't die.”

Then he proceeds to gently wrap his fingers around Hux's shaking hand. “May we meet again.” Then he pauses and his next words sound like a promise. “And we will.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Have you ever been there?” Hux asks.

Ben is piloting once again. There is a hickey on the side of his throat where Hux bit him last night. 

Ben looks at him. “Arkanis? No.” He concentrates on piloting again. Hux is sitting splayed on the other seat right next to him. Takato is chewing on sweets she stole from Canto Bight. She looked so happy when she told him that Hux almost didn't have the heart to scold her. He told her very carefully that she should be quick when stealing and not get caught. It's not like he's never stolen anything before.

“Have you?”

“I was born there,” Hux tells him. For some reason, he feels better after telling him. It's strange, he's never thought that telling Ben such a thing would make him feel better. But Hux feels as a warm feeling spreads across his chest.

“Were you now?” Ben looks at him and his eyes are for once sincere. “It's a very sad place.” Hux can't tell but agree. He thought that coming back would be hard, especially because the last time he visited his home, he got drunk, activated his lightsaber and met the Supreme Leader of the First Order. He's been on the run ever since but Ben claimed that he has a job there, something he needs to finish and Hux didn't complain even though he hesitated. Ben must have noticed that but he said nothing, only asked whether Hux is really fine with that and Hux agreed. He still has no idea why.

“Where were you born?” Hux asks all of the sudden. There is only a little he knows about Ben. In fact, he knows only his name and the fact he used to work for the First Order.

Ben shrugs. He does so very casually. “Chandrila.” He doesn't very happy that he has to talk about that. “Before you ask, my mother is still alive but my father is dead.” Hux notices that Ben doesn't seem like a son in mourning, no, he rather looks angry. “It happened a long time ago so I prefer not to think about it.”

“What about your mother?”

Ben looks at him with a sigh. “What about her?”

“Why do you hate her?” 

Ben freezes. “Hate is such a strong word,” he says. “It's not hate, just disappointment. She loves me but not enough. That's always been a problem between us, there are just things that are more important than her son and I accepted it. Unfortunately, accepting it also means that there is no place for her in my life anymore. She would not agree with me and my choices.”

“She is against the Order then.”

“Yeah,” Ben says. “She doesn't believe it and refuses to listen. I think there are monsters on both sides of this war and there is no good or evil. She refuses that idea. In her eyes, there can be only one monster and so I decided to play that role.”

“Still, you're her son. You love her.”

“Loving someone doesn't mean that we can't turn away from them.” Ben is quiet for a while and Hux is almost afraid that he went too far with his questions. He almost opens his mouth and apologizes but then he stops himself. He is not used to feeling guilt or remorse and he doesn't quite understand what he is feeling right now.

Fortunately, Ben breaks the silence first and Hux doesn't have to think about it anymore. “What about your family?”

Hux knows he should have expected such a question yet it still catches him off guard. “They are both dead,” he says and thinks of the body of his mother lying on the ground, hole in her head. He closes his eyes and they snap open only once Ben grabs his hand, probably to comfort him. Hux has no idea how to react. So he continues speaking.

“I was just a child when my mother was killed. I could never forgive my father taker her away from me. Of all the things he's ever done to me, killing my mother was the only one that truly broke me.”

“So what happened then?”

Hux looks at Ben because he doesn't understand the question. “Did you find him and kill him?” There is hunger in Ben's eyes and darkness. Hux's heart skips a beat. He should be afraid but he is not. 

“I did,” he admits. He knows that everyone knows that Brendol Hux got killed by his bastard. But he's never admitted it out loud to anyone but himself. But it feels good now when Ben hears it. “I cut off his head.” He still remembers Brendol's screams, his pleading. He was a weak man in the end and Hux felt no remorse when the lightsaber went down and ended his miserable life. It's his treasured memory, not his first kill but the most significant one.

Ben nods in approval. “It's not a bad thing,” he says, “getting rid of our nightmares.” He pauses and then adds, clearly because they are telling each other their secrets. “I killed my father too. He reached for me, trusting me completely and I killed him.”

Hux traces the scars on the back of Ben's hand with his fingers. “Don't tell me that you and I are alike,” he laughs.

Ben shakes his head. “You killed men to get your revenge, but I didn't do it for revenge.” He doesn't continue and Hux understands that Ben doesn't want to talk about it. So he asks a different question.

“How did you end in the First Order then?”

“Fate,” Ben says with a smile. “It just happened. Someone convinced me to join and I did.”

“Why did you leave then? You sound so fond of it.”

Hux watches and waits. He wonders if he can catch Ben red-handed. He observes his reactions and he has a feeling that Ben knows exactly why he asked that question. It's confirmed when turns towards him, not just his face but his body as well.

“You still doubt me,” he says and brushes Hux's cheek. “You think I am spying on you?”

“I am just making sure.”

“There is not that much to report,” Ben says. “I already missed your contact and the most I got from you were your little moans when I-”

Hux covers his mouth with his hands and his cheeks turn red. “Fine, fine,” he snaps and then tries to concentrate again. “So tell me.”

“You are not giving up, are you?” Ben asks. He sighs and seems like he knows he should have expected that from Hux.

“Okay, Armie,” he says and every time he says it Hux gets a feeling that Ben knows it's not a name he is very fond of. “I left because I feared for my life.”

“Bullshit,” Hux says.

“It's not. Why would anyone stay there? I mean, Snoke was bad enough but we only saw him rarely. He was like a story. We all knew he existed but he had his people to finish his task, to deliver punishments. There was always someone else with a real face that meant a real danger. When he died,” Ben says and waves his hand, “no one of us cared. We just knew that Ren took over. And we all knew Ren because Ren was always there.”

It catches Hux's attention. “You left because of Ren?”

“Why?” Ben grins. “Are you interested in him now?”

“I heard stories,” Hux murmurs.

“People whisper. He is mad.”

“Pryde told me he changed.” Ben seems speechless for a moment. Then he shakes his head as if he can't believe that Pryde actually claimed something like that.

“Look,” he says and his tone leaves no place for an argument. His eyes are now focused on Hux's face. “Ren is a sick bastard. He is stubborn, unforgiving and cruel. But he always gets what he wants. Once he decides you have some worth for him, there is no place to hide, he will hunt you down.”

“Like that girl?” Hux has no idea why he says what he says. It just fits the moment. Ben blinks and he looks like he wants to argue but then he thinks it over.

“You think he cares for some dirty girl?”

“He was obsessed with her,” Hux is just stating facts. 

“Well, she is still with the Resistance, isn't she? Ren is not waiting to make his move. He is now focused on something else.”

“So it's not about the girl anymore?”

Ben looks at him but doesn't answer. He definitely knows something but he won't reveal his secrets easily. It doesn't matter, Hux knows he will find out soon.


	13. Chapter 13

“What's this?” Ben asks and holds the small blue pill in front of Hux's face. They are seated on the ground of their shabby accommodation. This place is far from the best but Hux doesn't want to return to the small apartment where his mother was killed, so he doesn't mention to Ben that there is another place for them to stay.

Hux looks at him from where he is standing. It's raining outside. He is wearing his greatcoat because he is cold.

“Poison,” he says as if it should be obvious. “It's just a safety measure. Didn't you officers have the same thing in case you were captured?”

Ben stares at him, still smiling but it's a cold kind of smile. “Of course,” he says in the end. “But right now I am asking you why you have it? You are not an officer, after all.” It's his commanding tone once again, Hux finds it sexy inside the bedroom but once outside it is very annoying. Hux is not here to listen to Ben's commands and strive to fulfill them to his best limits.

“It's a safety measure,” he repeats loudly and shows his irritation. “I won't use it unless necessary.”

Ben places the pill on the ground. “Is that so?” he mumbles but doesn't breach the subject of this conversation any further. “Very well then. Are you ready for some fun?” He raises an unopened bottle in the air and points his finger at Hux.

“You told me you can hold your liquor.”

Hux rolls his eyes. “Of course I can.” He feels better now when they are talking about something else. He crosses the room and sits on the floor in front of Ben. Takato enters the room. She glares at Ben when she sees alcohol in his hand.

“Are you sure about that?” she asks. Hux can't tell whether she honestly likes Ben or not. There are days when she is kind to him and days when she snaps at his every action. Today is a bad day. 

Ben is the same. He seems annoyed by her presence but accepts it for Hux's sake. He is clearly not the type that likes children and Hux can't really blame him. 

“Are you here to join us?” he asks before an argument breaks loose. He's already witnessed their shouting match and it's truly a one-lifetime experience he doesn't really want to repeat. Ben looks at him strangely.

“Are you offering her alcohol?” he asks him. “How old are you, little girl?”

Hux narrows his eyes when he hears it. “I am not stupid,” he says and Takato doesn't even bother with an answer. “Of course, I wouldn't have allowed her to drink. I offered her to stay and have some fun with us.” He sincerely doubts though that this is what Ben imagines under the word fun. Hux is very sure that Ben had different plans for tonight, plans that would end up in their bedroom but Hux doesn't feel bad about not following them. It's so much fun to tease Ben.

Takato slips next to him and he wraps his hands around her shoulder. Ben pours him a drink and hands Hux his first glass of the evening.

“I know now a lot about Armie there,” Ben breaks the silence first. “But he doesn't really want to talk about you.”

Hux glares at him. It's not that he doesn't want to talk about Takato, he just doesn't understand why Ben needs to know so much about her. He would prefer to keep them apart, mostly because he still doesn't trust Ben completely and if he was right, if Ben is truly hiding something… well, then he must ensure that Takato remains unharmed.

Takato looks at Ben indifferently. She is not fooled by his charming smile. Hux has a feeling that she might be a bit jealous because she surely knows that they are sleeping with each other. Ever since Hux's taken her under his wing, there's never been anyone between them and this change is very unfortunate. Hux knows that even if he assures Takato that in the end, he would always choose her, she might not believe him completely. That's partly his fault for telling her not to trust anyone but it's the way in which he was raised and it saved him many times. Hux doesn't believe in a good heart, one must be capable of surviving and he's teaching that Takato too.

“What do you want to know, old man?” Takato asks with a lopsided smile. “Shoot!”

Ben seems happy when he hears it. “He's not your real dad, is he?”

Hux kicks Ben. He's already told that he doesn't see himself as Takato's father. It's strange to hear it. Still, he glances down at Takato to see her reaction. To his surprise, she is smiling sweetly. Very well then, Ben clearly has no idea what he's getting into. Hux knows that smile, it's the same smile that appeared on Takato's face before she killed both of her father. Not that Hux will allow any killing tonight.

Even though he doesn't trust Ben, there is some part of him that Ben will stay by his side and killing him would complicate things.

“Takato,” he warns her.

“I was born as a slave,” she tells the truth. “My parents sold me off because they were starting and had no money.”

Ben's grin falters. He certainly didn't expect to hear such a sad story. After all, when he was talking about his own parents, it was clear that he grew up in a family that loved him and he loved them in return. Something has changed along the way, but he can't understand how Hux or Takato feel. Takato's never known her parents' love and Hux's lost his mother when he was very young and his father made sure to kill the last remains of her love inside his son.

“I am sorry to hear that.”

“You don't need to be,” Takato says. “You didn't do anything wrong. I killed them. I got free one day and I returned home and I took their lives as a payment. I was eight at that time, I think. Armie found me afterward.” She glances at Hux quietly.

Hux looks at her.  _ That's not how it happened,  _ he tells her inside his mind. He knows that Takato hears him, she just doesn't react to his words.  _ We both know that. _

If Takato could, she would roll her eyes. But she is still watched by Ben.  _ I know. But he doesn't need to know. You look at him strangely. You don't trust him but you need him. _

Hux gently pats her back, warning her to stop talking about things she doesn't understand. Ben falls for her lie easily. There is no reason for him to doubt it. Yet only Hux knows that she didn't return home, instead she was brought back by her parents and she killed them before they could even enter the ship. It's a sad story, about a family that could not be reunited. Hux knows that Takato's parents loved her, it's hard to make her believe the same. So he lets it be because if she understands, then she'll know that she killed people who truly loved her and it might destroy her in the end.

“I have the same one as well,” Takato points her small finger at the pill that is still lying on the floor between them. Ben frowns when he hears it and looks at Hux.

“She is just a child.”

“This is war,” Hux reminds him unkindly. Ben should understand, he used to be part of the First Order. “If they get her, she'll know what to do.”

“You both are nuts,” Ben says and instead of pouring himself another glass, he drinks straight from the bottle. 

Hux says nothing. He doubts that Ben wants to hear him speak right now. 

“So you still don't trust me,” Ben says. His cheeks are a bit flushed but Hux knows that he is far from being drunk. He even doubts that Ben can even get drunk. “What do I need to do to prove myself to you?” he demands to know.

“Nothing,” Hux says to him indifferently. He is still on his first glass. He is answering but he is not looking at Ben. He is looking at Takato instead. He can't stop thinking about what Ren said to him. He is a hunted man now, he has no idea how long he can enjoy this peace before they make him into a weapon to end this war. It angers him that he is seen as some goods, to be bought and used and then… what comes then? Ren's never mentioned to him what might happen after the war is over. Hux's life will then have no worth. So it is very clear that Ren will lose interest. Hux decides he can't allow that, he will not be used and tossed aside.

He snaps back into reality when Ben touches his face. “You are thinking about something else,” he says.

Hux wordlessly blinks.

Ben touches his lips. His fingers are burning with heat. Hux's heart clenches but Ben doesn't kiss him. They stare at each other.

“Is it really hard to win your trust?” Ben asks. Then he brings the pill with poison towards his lips. Even in a state of shock, Hux reacts instinctively. He grabs his hand and stops it before Ben pushes the pill inside his mouth. When he is sure that Ben is safe, he slaps him across the cheek.

Ben starts laughing. “So much pain,” he gasps. “So much fear. Don't be afraid.”

Hux hates him. “Are you insane?!” he screams. “You could have killed yourself.”

Ben looks at him strangely. “To live means to die.”

Hux pushes him away. “Then die!” he starts yelling and for a moment it feels like he is the inside one. “DIE!DIE!DIE!” He slaps Ben two more times before he stands up, ignores that Takato calls his name and he walks out into the night.


	14. Chapter 14

It's cold outside. Hux is shivering beneath his greatcoat. It's raining too but it's nothing unusual. It rained when Hux first met Ren. At least, the rainwater can cover the tears that are still rolling down his cheeks. Hux doesn't want to admit it but he overreacted. It was not a smart move to get angry at Ben just because that man is brainless. Still, seeing him with the poison almost inside his mouth… Hux almost had a heart attack!

So now he is alone and has no idea where he is going. It's dark outside. Hux despises Arkanis, he hates that Ben convinced him to come back. He doesn't even know why, only that it's important to Ben. Perhaps it would be better if he grabbed Takato and simply left but it didn't really work last time, did it? 

Hux kneels down in the middle of the street and shields his head with his hands. He feels miserable and he doesn't doubt he ends up sick. But that's not important at the moment. The important thing is that he is starting to care for Ben and that can be dangerous. That idiot is suicidal and a liar and Hux knows it would be better to keep his distance. But he doesn't do it because apparently some of Ben's stupidity has jumped off on him. 

He has no idea how long he sits there. He feels slight pain in his muscles and he is exhausted. He is holding the pill Ben tried to swallow and stares at it. The last time Hux stared at it was when he was twelve. His father was murdered, the First Order was looking for him and his mother was dead. He had no place to hide so he kept sneaking into ships and traveling all around the Galaxy. Back then he was just a scared small child but the fear hasn't disappeared. Back then he thought about killing himself because it seemed to him that he has no reason to live. Of course, it's a bit different now because he has Takato and… well, yes, he has Ben too. But he can't be sure for how long. 

He stands up slowly and trips because his greatcoat is too long. Still, he manages to keep his balance just by outstretching his hands in front of himself. Then something strange happens. Hux blinks when he sees it just to be sure. The rain is falling down slower now, it seems that everything is moving slower except for Hux.

He straightens himself and pulls out his blaster. It's just for a good feeling because he has no idea how the blaster is supposed to help. “Fuck,” he swears and looks around but sees no one. And then a girl appears in front of him. She seems startled for a moment. Hux feels as a strange warmth spreads across his body. It's a familiar sensation caused by the Force. He doesn't feel it very often because his contact with the Force is limited now.

“You're the Jedi,” he says. Meeting Rey is completely different from meeting Ren. Back then he felt cold, the darkness reaching to him from all directions. Rey's presence is soft, warming and welcoming. 

“Armitage Hux,” she says. Hux is startled. People don't call him by his full name now, Ben doesn't use it and Takato knows only his last name. She still thinks that Armitage is something Hux made up just to confuse Ben and hide his identity.

“Just Hux,” he corrects her. He doesn't know how to act around her. She is not his enemy and he doesn't really want to have anything in common with the Resistance. He used to sell them intel when Snoke was still alive and he's met Dameron a few times but that's it. Nowadays, he's not that interested in the Resistance anyway. His problem is the First Order. He has a feeling that his problems are not so different from Rey's own.

She comes a bit closer. Her eyes are warm, like melted chocolate. “I've never seen a person with such hair,” she says. She is not the first to say it, many are usually interested in the exotic color of his hair. It makes him stand out so Hux likes to cover it. He can't understand their fascination so he usually lets such comments come and go without much interest.

Rey looks at him and she seems to snap out of her daydream and focus. That means that she has a reason why she came to him. Hux is not very happy about it.

“I was looking for you for so long.”

There is a part of Hux that wants to tell her that Ren's faster and has already talked to Hux and even warned him that the Resistance wants the same thing. He chooses to stay quiet. It's not a good time to mention it.

“We saw each other before,” he tells her, stating the facts. On the day he met Ren for the first time, he met Rey too.

She softly smiles at him. “I could feel your fear back then. But now you are calm. A bit shocked but otherwise calm.”

“What do you want from me?” Hux ignores her words. He wants to refuse her quickly. 

Rey hesitates. “You surely must know about the situation…” Hux notices that she is choosing her words carefully. It almost makes him snort. He hates that she speaks to him this way, as if he was just a child that needed to calm down. Rey must notice his disdain and she immediately stops acting the way she does.

“Go on,” he tells her. “You're not the first to come and speak about it. Ren's already talked to me.”

Rey doesn't seem surprised but she is angry. “Has he now?” she utters. “So I am late. When was it?”

Hux shrugs. “Not important,” he says. He doesn't see a reason why he should talk to Rey about Ren. What was said was said, she doesn't need to know about every detail.

Rey decides to ignore it for now. “Are you thinking about joining him?”

Her voice sounds strained. Hux suddenly has an impression that if he says yes, she might try to kill him here and now. “I haven't given him any answer,” he decides to stay neutral. In reality, he's not planning to join either of them. But he wants to hear what she has to say, whether she might have something valuable to sway him.

Rey relaxes almost immediately. “He's a liar,” she tells him honestly. “He might have promised you things but he won't keep those promises.” She must be speaking from her own experience. What a pity, but Ren hasn't promised him anything.

“I know,” Hux tells her. He is sure that she won't keep her promises as well. “Is that all?” He has no idea how to end this conversation. He is pretty sure that when he met with Ren, it was the Supreme Leader who sent him back because he was done talking. He has a feeling that Rey has more to say and that's why he'll be here for a while.

“He tried to convince me once too,” Rey tells him. She whispers it like a well-kept secret. “Then he killed people I loved.”

“Do you have a point? I am not here to listen to sob stories.”

“If he spoke to you, then you must understand that the side you choose will win. You don't have to like nor to believe in the Resistance. But I am asking you to reconsider. He is hunting you now, what do you think will happen after the war is over? There won't be a place you can hide, he'll find you everywhere. I can promise you freedom.”

Hux pauses because he understands Rey's words and freedom is something he's always wanted. But he refuses to be this easy, he won't strike a deal just because Rey said something he likes. “You speak so sweetly,” he tells her. “But those are just words. I need more than that.” Empty promises will get him nowhere.

“So what then?” Rey walks around in circles. “Are you saying that you won't choose any of us?”

That's so easy to say but Hux knows that this war's been going on for way too long. He can either make a free choice or he'll be forced to do it. Still, he's stubborn just like his mother and when Rey reaches for him, he doesn't take her hand.

“I need to think,” is all he says and he has a feeling that she knows it's a lie.

Rey sighs. She doesn't seem very happy about that. “Innocent people will die if you make the wrong choice. There'll be blood on your hands.”

Hux bares his teeth when he hears it. “Either way,” he says, “there'll be blood on my hands. It's my own choosing which side will be massacred.”

The rain starts falling at normal speed again. Rey disappears as quickly as she appeared. Hux blinks and suddenly he is all alone again. He falls back down on his knees, breathing heavily. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to move... it hurts to live. He hears footsteps nearing him and he raises his head just in time to see Ben's pale face hovering above him. And Hux knows, it feels like he's always known.


	15. Chapter 15

“You should go back inside,” are the first words Ben tells to him. “It's raining and you are soaked.” He reaches towards Hux and Hux lets him because meeting with Rey has drained him. They stand there for a while in silence. Ben is looking into his eyes but Hux is looking somewhere else. It hurts to look at Ben right now.

“You are soaked too,” Hux says. His throat is dry. He must swallow before he speaks up again. “You shouldn't have come after me.”

Ben shrugs. His dark hair is glued to his face. He looks younger now, defenseless. But Hux knows that Ben is dangerous, that people should fear him for who he is. “Takato was worried,” he says. “She told me to find you. I gave her my word.”

Why should your word mean anything? Hux doesn't ask that but he thinks that. He reaches Takato and assures her that she is fine. He can feel her anxiety, the fear that he might not come back. But Hux knows that he would always come back for her, no matter what.

“You are stupid,” he tells Ben once he is sure that Takato is okay. “Stupid and careless.” Hux regrets the words he's said, he doesn't want Ben to die.

“I wouldn't have killed myself,” Ben assures him with a boyish smile. “I love life too much for that.” Hux isn't that sure, it still feels like Ben is lying to him.

“And if I told you?”

Hux is just verifying something. They look at each other and Ben cups his cheek. Romantic fool. Hux wants to tell him that this is not a moment to do something like that.

“Don't ask such questions,” Ben warns him. “You already know my answer. We don't really need to discuss that.”

Hux slaps him again but makes sure it's less painful this time. Then he holds up the stupid pill that caused all of this. “Don't.” That's all Hux says and then puts the pill back into his pocket. He knows that Ben is watching him closely. He has a strange expression on his face but he conceals it rather quickly when he notices that Hux is looking at him.

“Takato is waiting,” he says.

Hux slowly nods. He tries not to think about Rey or Ren and their words of warning. He knows that this is far from over, one peaceful night with Ben doesn't mean that tomorrow there will be no hardships. It weighs him down, the awareness that all he has might be gone in the next few days.

“What are you thinking about?” Ben asks him. He is holding Hux's hand now and looks very proud of it.

Hux almost says nothing but he knows that Ben won't believe him. “There is no way that this will last for long,” he says and looks up at the sky. He can't see any stars because of the clouds. The night is dark, the morning will be much darker.

“Why did you come here?” he asks Ben. Ben hesitates but then he answers. 

“My mother asked me to meet me here.”

Hux's eyes widen. “Here?”

“I told her about this place,” Ben admits. He looks ashamed, like a little boy. It's an interesting change, Hux knows only his dangerous side, but this is just as intriguing. 

“I thought you said you have different opinions,” Hux tells him. “I thought you don't want to see her again.”

Ben seems angry when he hears those words. He lets go of Hux's hand. “There are things you don't understand.”

“Then explain them!”

“I CAN'T!” Ben screams right back. Then he kisses Hux with all his might. Hux stumbles but Ben pulls him closer until their bodies are pressed together and it's unclear where one begins and the other ends. Ben's kisses are bitter, painful and Hux lives for that pain and suffering. He opens his mouth willingly, his hands ball into fists and Ben keeps him in place. When they part, their breaths are ragged. Ben looks insane.

“What-” Ben pushes Hux against the wall. Hux grabs the front of his jacket. His fingers are white now, his hands are trembling. “Not here,” Hux warns him but Ben is already opening his pants. He soon finds out that Hux is still soft, not even a little bit aroused.

“I thought the pain does it for you,” Ben utters with a snort. “The last time we fucked you tightened around me whenever I was a bit rougher. And you liked biting.”

Hux can't look at him anymore. “It's… it's not that,” he utters, his cheeks are red now and he is glad that the darkness is too thick for Ben to see. “I can suck you off,” Hux says. He pushes Ben away so he has more space but Ben stops him before Hux falls on his knees.

“That's not enough,” Ben growls. He opens his own pants and shows Hux that he is painfully hard. “Turn around.”

“We don't have lube!” Hux weakly protests. It's not that he doesn't want it, the idea alone makes his cock twitch but his arousal dies down when he realizes that if Ben plunges right in, he might tear and he will kill Ben if he uses spit. Hux is many things but he is not some whore and he would prefer to find a bed and do it there.

“I won't put it in,” Ben promises him. His voice is shaking. 

Hux looks at him strangely because he doesn't understand. “Right,” he snorts. “My pants are lowered down and you are telling me to turn around.”

“You are not hard,” Ben reminds him. “I don't fuck unwilling partners.” Hux turns around but he still keeps an eye on Ben. He has no idea what he might do if he finds out that Ben is lying but one of his ideas is to bite Ren's cock off.

He feels as Ren presses against him. His cocks is hard, the tip is already smeared with precum. Ben caresses Hux's buttocks.

“Close your legs!” Ben commands him.

Hux listens to him because he decides that it means that Ben isn't planning to penetrate him. “Be quick!” he hisses at Ben when he feels as his cock presses in-between his thighs. “I don't have the entire night for this.”

Ben laughs and kisses the side of Hux's throat. “Right, baby,” he utters. Then he starts snapping his hips. It's not the same as when he is inside Hux but it still feels good. Hux's cock begins to harden and he can tell that Ben is enjoying this too.

“Just a little more,” Ben moans close to his ear when Hux gets fully hard. Ben's pace is quick, he is not letting Hux breathe. He is not waiting, he is just taking and taking and taking and in all honesty, Hux is enjoying himself a bit too much.

“It's a pity that I can't have you all naked,” Ben whispers. Hux reaches behind himself and hits Ben. It's not like he would allow it in the first place, they are in public. Kriff. 

“I am coming,” Ben licks the shell of his ear.

Hux wants to stop him, tell him that he needs a bit more to get off. But just then Ben reaches forward and his skilled fingers wrap around Hux's cock and he starts stroking him so in the finale, they both finish at the same time. Hux then sacks forward and presses his forehead against the wall.

“You brute,” he says and gasps for breath. Ben pulls up his pants before he starts taking care of himself.

“Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it,” he says with a bright smirk. “You were meowling my name like a kitten.”

Hux knees are shaking. “Bullshit,” he grumbles. He looks down. “I am dirty.” Ben licks his lips. 

“You look good like this.”

Hux ignores him. “Just take me home,” he says, drenched in water and their mixed come. His thighs are sticky. He has no doubt that his greatcoat is dirty too. “This is the last time we are doing it in a place like this.”

Ben's expression falls. “Aww, baby,” he whines like a child. “Don't be like that.”


	16. Chapter 16

Everything happens just like the last time. Hux wakes up inside his dream. He is not confused anymore, he should have expected it would happen again. He is sitting on the ground, just in front of Ren's throne.

Ren is wearing a different uniform today, black with red stripes on the front. The mask is still concealing his expression and Hux has a feeling that it won't change anytime soon. “Fancy,” Hux smirks as he stretches his long legs in front of himself. “I didn't expect to meet you like this again.”

It's sad that he can't see Ren's face but he is sure that the Supreme Leader rolls his eyes. He is looking at the datapad, tapping his fingers against the screen and he ignores Hux's presence. It almost looks like he doesn't even know that Hux is present. That is until he finally stops working. He locks his datapad and places it in his lap.

“Busy?” Hux asks him when he is sure that Ren is paying him attention. 

Ren cocks his head to the side. “Being silent is a virtue.” Hux is sure that he is not being completely honest. 

“Are you going to try to convince me again?” 

“Will you accept it if I do?” 

Hux doesn't even need to answer but his expression says it all. “I don't want to be part of this stupid conflict of yours,” he says. “Is it wrong to want that?” Hux knows that he sounds vulnerable. He should hide this side of himself from Ren but for some reason, he feels familiar in his presence. He tries to be careful but Ren is a constant nuisance. Rey tried to contact him only once and he hasn't heard anything from her ever since. He is not sure whether the Resistance truly believes he will choose the right side in the end or if they are plotting something even greater than Ren.

Ren slowly stands up. He leaves his datapad on the throne. “You can have a life after this war is over,” Ren says, his voice honey-sweet. That snaps Hux out of his illusion. Ren is many things and he can certainly be charming if he tries to be but his words are nothing but poison. There is no life for Hux after the war and they must know it. Perhaps Ren believes that he will be manipulated by his promises. He is not the first to make them so he shouldn't be so sure of himself.

“Is this your doing?” Hux asks when Ren steps closer towards him. Only then he stands up, ignoring Ren's outstretched hand that is meant to help him.

Ren huffs behind his mask and Hux is now sure that he is smiling. “I am still working on it. I can't bring you here anytime I want. It takes hours of concentration and it works the best when you are asleep.”

“How do you know when I am asleep?” Hux narrows his eyes in suspicion. It would be concerning if Ren could feel his state to such a degree.

Ren shrugs. “Maybe I am just lucky.” It feels like Ren is just making fun of him, teasing Hux just to see his reaction. Hux steps towards him. Until now he's tried to avoid contact with Ren. He stares at his mask.

“I have a bad feeling about you.”

Ren doesn't seem surprised. “It would be strange if you didn't.” Hux knows what he means by that. “Perhaps you should learn to trust me.”

Hux stares at him. “I am not stupid,” he says in the end. “Trusting people like you… nothing good comes out of it. But please tell me. You're obviously trying to convince me. So I want to know what is there for me. We all have a price. Don't misunderstand mine.”

Ren is quiet for a moment, probably thinking things through. “I could offer you a place here in the Order. Aren't you tired of running around? The truth is that you have no home nor family. Have you thought of that little girl you take with yourself everywhere?”

Hux's heart skips a beat. So Ren knows about Takato. He feels like throwing up. “How-?” he asks and his voice is shaking.

“I know everything about you.”

Hux isn't very happy to hear that. “Whatever,” he says curtly. “Leave her out of this. She is just a child. If she gets hurt-”

“I am not threatening her,” Ren corrects him calmly. His hand cups his cheeks and then slides down and gently pushes the collar of his shirt aside, revealing more of Hux's throat. He caresses a scar Hux hides there. “I know that she is very important to you, more than you are willing to admit. I am giving you a chance. As you said, she is just a child. Don't you want a stable home for her? You're on the run. It must be tiring.” He moves his hand and his fingers dance around the hickey Ben left behind last night.

“Don't touch me,” Hux slaps his hands away, now angry and feral. “You have no right.” He adjusts his collar. “I am only hunted because of you. Stop that and she will enjoy her childhood as much as she can.”

“Perhaps I was wrong,” Ren says. “It's not just that girl. You have a lover as well.”

Hux blushes. He has no idea what Ben is to him. Lover? Friend? Something more than that? He balls his hands into fists in a reaction. 

“There is none of your business,” he grits out. “We are not that close.”

“Yet,” Ren adds cockily. “Very well then, it seems I am unable to convince you.” He turns his back on Hux. “If not this then… perhaps you might be interested in your mother instead.”

Hux closes his eyes. No one's spoken about his mother ever since her death. “She died,” he says. The sorrow fills his lungs and suddenly it's very hard to breathe. “There is nothing to talk about there.”

Ren doesn't seem to agree. “But there is. Isn't there? You know nothing about her.”

It's true. Hux can at least admit that. “Why do you have to bring her up?” Hux asks, getting irritated with Ren's strategy. The Supreme Leader is simply shameless. Hux hasn't thought of his mother in years because remembering hurts. But sometimes he dreams of her, sees her broken body on the ground with blood surrounding her head. When he came back home, she was long buried but the bloody stain in their apartment soaked into the wood. 

“I am not falling for more of your tricks.” This is not funny anymore. Hux turns around. “Stop this!” he screams. “I don't want to be here anymore.”

He can't see the way Ren is looking at him but surely it's with pity. “You can't break it,” Ren tells him. “You're powerful. I can feel it but you rarely use your gifts. You stand no chance against me.”

“For now,” Hux hisses. He promises to himself that he will kill Ren, skin him alive. He will make him suffer for playing these games.

“For now,” Ren echoes his angry tone. He steps closer towards his throne. “Are you sure you don't want to know?” He grabs his datapad and unlocks it. Then turns the screen towards Hux and motions him to come closer. “I know everything about you, Armitage Hux. More than you think there is. Your mother loved you. I am sure you loved her back as much. Don't you ever wonder? Don't you want to know the truth?”

“So this is what you offer? The truth in exchange for my loyalty?”

“Not quite.” Ren denies it all. He could be a good politician if he only wasn't trying to destroy the world they are living in. “I want you to come to me, that's true. But I will not force you. I want you to choose me out of your own free will.”

“That will never happen.”

“Never say never.” He gives Hux his datapad and then stands quietly behind him. “This file has all the personal information about your mother.”

Hux looks down. His heart is pounding. There is a picture of her. She almost looks alive again. Hux looks lower, reads the basic information Ren found about her. He frowns when he reads the last paragraph.

“What's this?” he asks. “That can't be true.”

“But it is,” Ren tells him. Hux can tell that he is smiling behind that stupid mask. “Your mother worked for the Republic. Why don't you ask about her the next time Rey comes for a visit?”

Hux tenses. “How do you know?”

Ren laughs for real. “You are mine, don't forget that. She can try to win against me but are not a good man and it's pointless to make one out of you.” Hux still holds the datapad closer to his chest. Ren pets him gently. “I am still waiting,” he says.

Hux knows it's time to go.


	17. Chapter 17

Of course, there is no datapad in the morning but Hux knows what he saw. He also knows it wasn't just some dream, he truly talked with Ren. He dismisses the idea at first, thinks that it's Ren's plot to convince Hux to join him. But as days pass, he finds himself thinking about his mother, about the night when she died.

After he wakes up one night after a nightmare where his mother died yet again, Hux makes his decision. Ben is up as well and he looks worried. They've taken sleeping in one bed as part of their daily life now. It's been a week ever since they landed on Akanis and Hux has a feeling that Ben is not honest when he asks him why they are here. He is waiting for something and it makes Hux very uneasy.

“Do you want to talk about your dream?” asks Ben finally one night. He is holding shaking Hux in his arms, gently brushing his hair. He didn't mention Hux's panicked state at first but he clearly thinks it's something they should talk about. 

Hux is quiet for a long time. “No,” he says in the end. He is sweaty, his head hurts and his eyelids are heavy. “I need to take a bath.” He attempts to stand up but Ben doesn't let them. Hux scowls when he looks at him.

“What are you doing?” he asks, his tone a bit sharper than usual. It's because he is still distressed. “You fucked me and I am still dirty. I need to wash it off.”

“It didn't bother you yesterday,” Ben claims stubbornly. “I don't think it's really bothering you right now. It's something else.”

Hux knows that he is right but he doesn't want to admit that. “Let go,” he hisses. Millicent that is sleeping on the other side of the bed lazily opens her eyes and looks at them before she yawns and shows off her sharp teeth. She meowls in a warning. Hux reaches over and gently pets her head to apologize.

“I am fine,” he says in soft whispers.

Ben doesn't believe him. “You clearly aren't,” he says. “Come here.” Hux ignores him again. He hates when Ben gets like this. It's not a bad thing, he recognizes that Ben is truly worried about his well-being but Hux doesn't want to admit to himself that someone truly cares about him. It sounds too good to be true. 

“Armie…” Ben looks sad. “I have nightmares too. You don't need to be ashamed of telling me about them.” He finally lets go of Hux's hand. “Come here?” He pats the side of the bed. Hux stands up instead and leaves the room.

He closes the door behind himself and feels as tears gather in his eyes. It's so fucked up. He brushes them away. He is such a mess. Hux doesn't go to wash as he planned but he enters Takato's room. She is soundly asleep, her hands hidden below the pillow. She wakes up when he comes closer. Hux sees as she blinks in confusion when she recognizes him. 

“Hux?” she whispers and rolls on her back. “What are you doing here?” She closes her eyes again. “Is Ben…” She tenses. “Has something happened?”

Hux shakes his head. “It's fine,” he says in a soft whisper and sits down on her bed. He brushes her hair. “Do you want to braid it?” she asks despite knowing that Hux has clumsy fingers. She looks really tired but she climbs into Hux's lap without a question and turns around.

Hux starts braiding her hair. He is not very good at it but Takato never complains. Her shoulders relax after a while and Hux is almost sure that she is asleep again. But then she speaks up.

“Do you love him?” Her voice is soft, tone unsure. Hux is not sure what kind of an answer she wants to hear and clearly, she is not sure either. 

“I don't think it's love,” Hux utters.

“Then how does it feel when you love someone?” Hux slows down his movements and suppresses his own yawn. He pushes Takato back on the bed without finishing her braid and then lies down next to her. She curls next to him but then decides to change her position and she climbs on him and rests her head on his chest.

That way she can hear his heartbeat. “I am not sure I know the answer,” Hux admits quietly. He's never thought about loving someone. Of course, he loved his mother but she is dead now and Hux tries not to think of ghosts.

“Do you love me?”

“Yes,” Hux says without hesitation. At the moment, Takato is the only reason why he is still holding on. He pecks her forehead. Perhaps he was lying when he claimed he doesn't see himself as her father. He's the only father she's ever known and somehow it makes him feel proud when she seems to be happy that he loves her.

“I love you too,” she says. Those words sound strange. Just like him, Takato is too afraid of loving and being loved.

“What do you think of Ben?” he asks her just to hear her honest opinion.

“I don't think he is a good man,” she immediately speaks up. When he glances down he notices that her eyes are already closed. “But when he looks at you, he can't look anywhere else. That's a good thing.”

“I think he is very dangerous,” Hux says. He tightens his arms around Takato. He will never let her go. He will not allow Ren to hurt her. “And I think that it doesn't matter what I feel towards him. One way or another, our ways must part.”

Takato softly hums. “Old man,” she says. “You sound so sad. Sometimes I think you're the saddest man in this universe. I think you are sadder than you realize.”

Hux is in shock when he hears it. “Why would you say such a thing?”

“It's in your eyes,” Takato claims. Those are the last words she says to him before the sleep claims her. Hux remains unmoving. He knows that he soon won't feel very comfortable but he doesn't want to take her up the second time this evening. He wonders if Ben is still in their bedroom or if he is walking around the ship, looking for Hux. Hux's heart painfully clenches inside his chest. He thinks of his mother again. He wishes he could see her one more time to say his goodbye properly. He wishes Brendol's death brought him some peace.

With Takato still pressed against his chest, Hux makes his decision. He just hopes he won't regret it later.

_ Rey? _

Ren told him that Hux is not strong enough to break the connection but perhaps he might be strong enough to establish it. He tries to think of Rey, he closes his eyes and focuses on her face.  _ I need to talk to you, _ he thinks in desperation.  _ It's important. _

When nothing happens, Hux almost gives up. But then the silent humming of the engines goes quiet and Rey appears in front of him, blinking in confusion.

“I heard you,” she says, her voice soft. She waits patiently for him to speak and explain his situation and not once she mentions that he needs to make his choice soon. Hux finds her presence comforting.

“I met Ren,” he says.

Rey doesn't seem surprised at all. “He tried to convince you.”

“I didn't take his hand,” Hux tells her. “I couldn't.” He glances at Takato in his arms. Just like Ren said, he wants a good life for her. At this moment, she is the only person that matters. Rey's eyes are sad. 

“You are not here to take my hand either.”

“He told me something about my mother,” he whispers in a broken voice. Hux wants to cry but he won't break down in front of Rey. “He told me that she worked for the Republic.”

Rey observes him quietly. “You want me to find out whether it's true.”

“If she did, then my choice is clear. If she fought for you, then so will I.” 

Rey finally smiles. “Thank you,” she says in genuine joy. “Thank you.”

“Just find out about her,” Hux asks her. “And once everything is over, make sure that Takato is safe.”

Rey nods again. “I am giving you my word.”

Hux sighs. “You can come for me,” he says. “I am on Arkanis.”


	18. Chapter 18

Hux runs his fingers through Ben's hair. It's thick and finally freely falling down his shoulders. “I could braid it,” Hux says, amazed.

Ben shakes his head. “I've seen Takato's braid,” he says with a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “It was so crooked.” Hux hits his shoulder in reprimand. 

“Don't speak such nonsense!” 

It's not raining outside for once. But the sky is grey and the cold wind is blowing. “We could leave tomorrow,” Ben tells him, knowing nothing about Hux's plans to join the Resistance. “What place would you like to visit?”

Hux laughs, pretending to think about it when it's already decided. “I would like to see the snow again.”

It doesn't really matter what he says because neither of them will go there. It's a fact because after tonight, everything will be decided. So Hux enjoys the last moments with Ben, his blaster left in the bedroom and Ben's arms wrapped around him to keep him pressed against Ben's chest.

Hux pulls away just to look at Ben's face. He is acting sweetly, unlike himself and he wonders if Ben noticed that. He wonders if he thinks that something bad is going to happen. Hux promises himself that he will always remember this moment. It will end up as one of the memories he has with his mother where she took him to see the ocean and pecked his cheeks with kisses until he was giggling in joy. 

“Are you finished here?” Hux asks.

“Almost,” Ben admits. “It will be finished today.” Hux knows it's a lie because Ben hasn't done any work ever since they came here but he lets it be. Whether Ben lies or not, he no longer cares. Takato will be safe one way or another so he doesn't have to worry about that anymore.

Takato appears all of the sudden and joins them on the ground. She shows him her bleeding arms and tells him a story about how Millicent scratched her. 

“You shouldn't provoke her like that,” Hux chides Takato. She only rolls her eyes on him in front of Ben but he knows that takes his words to heart.

Ben decides to behave for once and he puts his hands on the ground. At least he is not molesting Hux in the presence of a child. “Does it hurt?” he asks. It seems that he is starting to enjoy Takato's presence. Just yesterday Hux found them making breakfast together. Takato spoke with Ben freely and without any restraint which only showed that she is starting to care for him too. It breaks Hux's heart that they cannot keep this domesticity forever.

“No,” Takato says. Hux believes her. She once broke her arm and didn't shed one tear. He doubts that a scratch is something she feels. “I will wash it later.” She keeps her hand raised in the air so the blood doesn't get on her clothes. Hux taught her that. 

“Wash it now,” Hux commands her with all the authority he can muster at the moment. Takato looks at him and seems hesitant to leave them but she still respects him and that's why she listens to him in the end.

Hux watches as she leaves. Ben jokes about it. “We are a complete family now,” he says, “me, you and the little one.” Hux frowns when he hears it.

“We are not family.” It's a bit heartless to say it but he must be honest with Ben and with himself. “I have no idea what that word means and neither do you. We can never give her the family she deserves.”

Ben sighs. His hands start traveling again because Takato is away. “You fool,” he says, his voice full of affection. “She needs to be loved. And you love her so much. Don't even deny it, I saw it all. She is happy and she's cared for. What more does she need?”

Any other time, Hux would have been convinced but he can't stop thinking about what Ren told him. He was right, after all, Takato was running around with him. “She needs to be around kids her age and have a stable home, she shouldn't be like…” There he almost said it. Hux doesn't want her to grow up in the way he did. The dirty thief on the streets, always starting, always afraid.

Ben cups his face. “What is stopping you?” he asks. “What are you running away from?”

Hux is staring at him without blinking. Then he stands up. “You should know,” he says, his voice high pitched right now. “I should have told you a long time ago but back then I didn't trust you. Now I do.”

Ben is quiet. Hux can see the anticipation in his eyes. “I love you, Ben,” he says. “That's why you should know everything about me.”

Ben straightens on the chair. “Go on,” he says. His expression is unreadable right now but Hux can tell that he is quite shocked. He didn't expect Hux to reveal his secrets so soon. And he didn't say he loves Hux back.

“My full name is Armitage Hux,” Hux says slowly. He doesn't think over what he wants to say, he lets those words out of his mouth freely. “My father was an officer of the First Order. I had to run away because I murdered him.” His shoulders are stiff, he speaks with disdain. His back is turned towards Ben. Slowly, very slowly, Hux takes out his blaster. He gently rubs it with his fingers. Ben is too focused on his story to notice. He knows all of those things, of course, he does. Perhaps that's why he has no idea where is Hux going with all of this.

“You asked me why I am running. The murder of my father is just one reason. The other is the Supreme Leader.”

Hux closes his eyes and sighs. He can hear as Ben changes his position. “It happened a few months back on this very planet. In one moment, I saw the Supreme Leader. It was just a projection but it was enough for him to understand that I am a Force-Sensitive too.” Telling the truth is much harder than lying. Hux must be careful about his reactions, it seems that he trusts Ben in every way.

“He sent the Knights to bring me to him at first. Then he started meeting with me in my dreams. He warned me that he is coming for me. I know what he will get me one way or another. What's the point in hiding or in running?”

The silence falls over the two of them. Hux now waits, it's time for Ben to make his move. And soon he does, he stands up from the chair and walks towards Hux. Then he wraps his arms around Hux's middle and hugs him from behind.

“That's bad,” Ben says, his voice now very quiet. “But we can make it. Right?” It's such a convincing act that Hux almost hesitates. But no… he needs to make this quick. This is his last chance to make things right.

So he turns around in Ben's hug and presses his face against Ben's face. At the same time, he slowly raises his hand and then pulls the trigger when he points his blaster at Ben's abdomen. Ben's reaction after being shot is immediate. He pushes Hux's away and grabs the wound. Blood is soaking through his clothes and dirtying his palms. His face is pale, eyes widened. He stares at Hux in shock. So he finally managed to surprise him.

Hux raises his blaster again. “I am not stupid,” he says, the vulnerability from his voice is gone. 

“You knew,” Ben whispers. His eyes are no longer warm and gentle, there is no smile playing on his lips. “For how long?”

“From the moment you told me that it's easier to connect with me when I fall asleep,” Hux says. “It wasn't a smart move, Supreme Leader.”

Ren falls on the ground. Soon he starts coughing blood. “I really thought I got you. You looked so stricken with me.”

Hux bitterly smiles. “You don't understand love,” he says. “That's why you didn't see this coming.”

Ren closes his eyes. “I lost,” he admits his defeat. “Did you really love him?” Hux chooses not to answer. That is only for him to know and for Ren to wonder.

“You can't stop me,” Hux says. “The war is over.” He strides over to Ren's body and he pulls the trigger the second time that day and this time, he aims for the heart.


	19. Chapter 19

Hux takes Takato's hand.

“We are going to meet a friend,” he tells her. They both are dressed in thick clothes to keep themselves warm. “I will keep you safe, I promise.”

Takato looks at him with a sad smile. She found him standing over Ben's dead body and she didn't question him, she didn't even shed a tear. She somehow understands that Ben meant to hurt both of them and that's why Hux killed him. It's dangerous just how much she trusts him but Hux can't bring himself to tell her to stop.

Hux still holds the blaster in his hand. And it's shaking. Killing Ren took most of his energy. Perhaps because they've spent two months together, he even slept with him. Back then he didn't know that Ben is the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. But it was obvious from the beginning and just like Hux thought, Ren was lying to him. 

His priority is now to leave the planet. He has no idea how long it will take before the First Order finds out that Ren is dead and he knows what will happen after. Someone else will take their place but without a Force-Sensitive on their side, the Resistance will be finally able to win. He thinks that Rey will be happy when she finds out.

“You are afraid,” Takato notices when they stop running. She is not wrong. Hux is terrified of what is going to happen now. He knows that he wasn't meant to kill Ren so soon and it was so easy to take his life. Hux almost feels bad about it. He killed him without thinking, just pulled the trigger and tried not to think of the outcome.

“I can keep you safe now,” Hux says as he kneels in front of her. He grabs her shoulder. “Do you hate me because of it?”

Takato shakes her head without hesitation. Hux throws his blaster away. He can't bear to see that weapon any longer. His eyes fill with tears and he lowers his head to hide them. He is weak once again, slave to his emotions.

“I don't mind that he is dead,” Takato tries to assure him again. Hux has a feeling that she minds. Despite everything, real or not, Ben was her friend and she started to see him as a part of their lives. Now he is gone too and Hux knows that she is sad but she doesn't want to show it. He hugs her tightly. 

“It's all over now,” he promises. “Come. I know someone who can take us away from this place.”

Just as he expected, Rey is already waiting for them. She is smiling softly but then frowns when she sees tears in Hux's eyes. 

“It's alright,” she tries to soothe him. Hux can't find any words to tell her so he just keeps quiet. “Sit down,” she tells him. “Catch your breath. I swear I will do anything in my power to protect both of you.”

Hux has a feeling that she is just saying that because he's joined her side. If he chose Ren, her tone would not be that inviting. He is sure of it now but he doesn't comment on it. “Just keep Takato safe,” he says. “That's all I want. I can take care of myself.”

He slides on the ground and wraps his hands around his knees. “You came here quicker than I expected you to.”

Rey shrugs. “We need to hurry,” she says. “Ren is smart. He could appear here at any moment now. We should go.”

Hux ignores her comment. “My mother…” he says. “You told me you'll find out everything about her. What do you know?”

Rey looks at him. “I'll tell you once we're on the ship. Come-”

“No!” Hux cuts her off. “I want to know now. That was our agreement.” He is getting tired of this. “I told you clearly.”

“I know,” Rey nods. “I remember. But we need to go. Look. I don't want to get into a confrontation with Ren right now, we are not prepared. We-!”

“REN IS DEAD!” Hux screams at her. He finally lost his patience. “I killed him. Now, there is no need to hurry. Show me what you found.”

Rey blinks at him in confusion. Takato kneels down and wraps her arms around Hux's shoulder. She can feel that he is frustrated right now. 

“Armitage-”

“Hux,” he corrects because he doesn't want her to call him by his first name. She doesn't deserve it. He trusts her less than he trusted Ben and he turned out to be a liar.

“Hux,” she repeats after him. “I think you are wrong. Ren is very much alive.” She seems very confused. “I can tell. I still feel his presence.”

Hux feels as his heart misses a beat. “What?” It doesn't sound good, not at all. He is still not very good at using the Force and he probably can't tell by himself whether Rey is lying or telling the truth. But one thing is clear, she looks very much afraid and she comes to him and helps him to stand up.

“We have to go!” her tone is urgent. “Hux, please. It's bad, really bad.” Finally, Hux follows her lead.

But by then it's already too late. Hux suddenly feels energy that surrounds him and then his body shakes. He grabs his chest and hears as Takato calls his name in panic. Rey's eyes widen, so she felt it too. 

Someone grabs him when the pain gets too much and helps him to steady himself. “We must work on your shooting skills.” This time his voice sounds different. It's silky, lanced with the promise of violence.

Hux freezes. “Why can't I kill you?” he asks. He already tried twice and Ren is alive and breathing.

“Because you don't want me dead,” Ren tells him. He looks at Rey then. She is reaching for her lightsaber but it's too late.

“Don't make any sudden moves,” Ren warns her. His hair is falling freely down on his shoulder. He looks different from Ben and Hux can see it clearly. “His life is my hands now.” But he won't kill Hux. Whether he will hurt him… Hux can't be sure.

“Go on Rey,” Ren tells her. She is now frozen in place. She is not sure what to do now. “Tell him about his mother.”

Hux looks at his captor. “You knew…” he chokes out.

Ren rolls his eyes. “Of course I knew. I told you because you would run to Rey then and it happened. I admit I didn't expect you to shoot me but because your control of the Force is a very weak one, I was able to manipulate you into thinking you killed me.” 

He has his arms wrapped around Hux now. It's such an intimate gesture but he doubts that Ren means something serious with such a gesture. He is probably showing off to Rey. Hux is getting angry. He already regrets he threw his blaster away.

“Tell me then,” he turns to Rey. She looks at him, her eyes wide. She finally lowers her weapon. 

“Hux…” she sighs and Hux immediately knows that she is about to say something he won't like. “The thing about your mother… I tried but I found nothing. I asked even some older people but no one recognizes her name or yours. They know your father but…”

Ren laughs and Hux wants to kill him. He starts fighting against him but he is too weak. Ren only holds him tighter. “Calm down now,” he shushes Hux.

“You knew,” Hux growls, breathless now. “You knew. You told me a fucking lie! I hate you for it! I wish you were dead!”

“I can tell at least that,” Ren smirks. “Unfortunately I can't make your wish come true.” He touches the side of Hux's head and Hux knows what is about to happen. He tries to push Ren away but it's too late now. Ren does something and Hux slumps into his awaiting arms. The thing he sees is Ren's face hovering above him.

“Armitage,” he says before Hux loses consciousness. “We are going to have so much fun.”


	20. Chapter 20

There is a chain wrapped around his wrists when he wakes up. It's not his own bed, the sheets are black. They are cool against his skin.

“What-?” Hux hisses and grabs his head. The pain is too much but only for a few moments. Then the throbbing stops. He sits up slowly, the sheets pool around his waist. His abdomen is bare but he is not naked. His modesty is protected by his briefs. Hux has a good reason why he isn't feeling comfortable. It takes him at least a minute to remember what happened. 

He was on Arkanis, he found out that Ben is in reality Ren. It was not that surprising but Hux was disappointed. And then… there was Rey. Hux remembers her clearly because she wanted to use him as well. She knew that he would do anything for his mother and almost managed to get him on her side before Ren arrived. Takato, he's only ever wanted to protect her.

Takato.

Right.

Hux tenses immediately. Where is she? He needs to find her. But the chains around his wrists keep him pinned on the bed. He can move freely as long as he keeps his body on the mattress. He won't even be able to reach the fresher in this state.

“FUCK!” he growls loudly and tries to free his hands but the only thing that happens is that the chains dig painfully into his wrists. He can smell the blood but it doesn't stop him from trying to get free.

The door on his side slides open. Ren is finally not wearing his mask as he walks in. His steps are quick but he clearly isn't aware of the danger before he sees it. His reaction is immediate. Hux can see as his eyes widen in horror once the understanding hits him. 

“What are you doing?” Ren practically roars and crosses the room just to stop Hux from struggling. “We had to patch you up and now you're trying to hurt yourself again. Fool.”

Hux bares his teeth at him. Then spits into Ren's face. “I am having so much fun,” Hux tells him, his voice dripping with poison. “Now that I am your slave.”

Ren shakes his head in disbelief. “My slave?” he asks. “That's not why I brought you here.” He taps Hux's cheeks just to anger him further. “You are my guest. Now, be a good boy and stop fighting. There is no reason to.”

He lets go of Hux just to see whether he will continue to fight or if he settles quietly. Hux relents but only for a little while.

“Where is Takato?” he asks, gritting his teeth. “If you hurt her…” He's not joking now. Ren knows just how much she means to him. It was a mistake to allow him to get so close, even Takato liked him and Hux let them even though he knew that Ben lied and he allowed them to be together even after he found out that Ben is in reality Ren.

“You don't need to be so tense,” Ren chides him. “Takato is perfectly safe.” He is sitting too closely but Hux says nothing. “She is on the ship and once you'll get better I'll allow you to see her.”

“You'll allow me?” Hux presses his lips into a thin line. “So now I am on your mercy?” he wonders. 

“I would say yes,” Ren points his finger on the shackles keeping Hux in place. “I was afraid you might freak out once you wake up. I was right.” Hux furrows his eyebrows but keeps his silence. He looks down at the shackles.

“How long?”

“You were out of it for three days straight. I didn't know I could knock you out for such a long time.”

His tone is teasing. He clearly thinks nothing of Hux's current predicament. “Rey fled shortly after I took you. Coward. I could, unfortunately, take care of only one of you and she is not that important at the moment.”

“I still haven't said yes,” Hux warns him. “Takato-”

“She is having the time of her life with Captain Phasma. She is well-fed and taken care of just like you wanted.”

“You made her into one of your soldiers.”

Ren glares at him. “I like her too,” he says after a moment. “Remember that I spent two months with you. She was my friend too.”

“You betrayed both of us.”

“I thought we are already on the same page,” Ren says. “You shot me. I betrayed you. That's just fair. I am not even angry about that.”

He looks Hux over. When he sees that he is not injured in other places he sits down on the chair next to the bed. “Are you thirsty?” he asks and even though Hux doesn't answer, he fills a glass with water and hands it to him. 

“So what now?” Hux asks. “You have just as you wanted. Are you going to force me to use my powers and then win the war? How do I do it? Do I snap my fingers?”

Ren laughs. It's refreshing to see his face. His expressions are so open, whether it's anger or happiness. And right now he is enjoying himself, seeing Hux's words as a simple joke. “The Force doesn't work like that,” he says. “If I could destroy an army with just snapping my fingers, I would have done so already,” he admits. “I keep forgetting that you still know nothing.” 

Hux throws his hands in the air. “Fine. I am alright now. Can you take me to see Takato or do you want to hold me here without my consent?”

“Well,” Ren says, now sitting lazily. He looks pleased with himself, probably because he now has Hux by his side. “I could certainly do that. But because we were so close,” he says and his hand slides towards Hux's exposed thigh and squeezes it, “we could keep this friendly. I need you to eat.”

Hux glares at him. “I am not a child.”

“You certainly aren't.” It takes Hux a moment to realize what Ren means. He kicks him. He probably shouldn't act this way, Ren is not Ben after all. It still feels familiar to react this way to Ren's teasing. 

“If I agree,” Hux tries to get some leverage, “I am allowed to see Takato.”

“You can go to see her once I am sure that if I take off the shackles, you won't try to murder half of this ship.”

Hux growls and then turns away. “Then there is nothing to talk about.” 

Ren reacts rather quickly. He grabs Hux's shoulder and forces him to look into Ren's face. “I'd like to give you a word of advice,” he says. His face is pale, eyes completely black. Hux was a fool for thinking that Ben and Ren are the same or even similar. Ben was cruel but he hid it well behind sweet smiles and empty promises. But Ren is straightforward, his words are sharp but honest. There is no trace of a lie, only the truth that makes Hux wary. Ren is not hiding his intention and that only shows more of his cruelty. 

It was a mistake to think that Hux was safe, not with his hands bound and Takato taken as hostage. Guest my ass, Hux is a prisoner here.

“Be a good boy,” Ren whispers. “It will save both of us a lot of trouble.”

Hux will be damned if he gets intimidated by that. “You won't kill me.” He is aware of that simple fact. Ren won't kill him, he can't. Perhaps Ren is in charge but Hux can fight back and he will as long as he can.

“Perhaps not,” Ren says with a short laugh. He stands up slowly. “This is bad enough. I remember you being quite stubborn. I liked that about you but now I hate it. All I want from you is to be obedient. In return, Takato will be safe.”

“You said she is your friend,” Hux murmurs. “You claimed you care about her. What a liar. She means nothing and I mean nothing too.”

Hux notices shadows in Ren's eyes. He gets a feeling that this is not the end of their conversation.

“You don't have to worry,” Ren tells him but he seems very unhappy about the outcome. He probably hoped that Hux would admit his defeat but that won't happen anytime soon. 

“I'll come to see you again in the morning,” Ren says after he runs his fingers through his hair. “Perhaps your decision will change.”

Hux is stubbornly quiet. He is very sure that nothing will change.


	21. Chapter 21

Hux falls asleep again. His original plan was to stay up the whole night but he failed to do it. His body hurts and his neck is stiff when he wakes up again. Ren is already back. Hux can hear him moving behind the door. He is probably speaking with someone.

Hux is certain that he is now in Ren's quarters. He wonders why the other man decided to keep him close, as if he wasn't aware that Hux could slit his throat in sleep. His wrist hurt even more than yesterday and Hux notices a ring of bruises forming on his skin in the place where the shackles were pressed against it.

The next time the door opens, Hux knows that Ren's finished his talk. He walks in confidently and doesn't even bother the door.

“Where did you sleep last night?” Hux asks all of the sudden. He is in Ren's bed and Ren didn't sleep with him.

Ren looks at him with raised eyebrows. “Is that really that important?” he wonders out loud. But he finally gives Hux an answer. “I didn't sleep at all. The Supreme Leader is quite busy these days. I had to explain why I brought a strange man with me and took him into my quarters.” So Hux was right.

“Can't you do anything you want to? You're in charge here.”

“You are smart,” Ren tells him and leans against the doorframe. “So be smart. Perhaps I am in charge but the High Command is constantly behind my back, watching each of my moves. It would be too easy to get rid of them but unfortunately, I can't afford to lose so many men at this moment.”

Hux hums. “Having so much power in your hands must be really hard.” He changes his position. “This is annoying,” he utters. “Did you come here to talk to me or just check how I am doing?”

“I am here to check your wrists,” Ren says. “Are you going to bite me?” Hux must admit that he thought about it.

“No,” he promises in the end. He feels famished. It's his pride that forces him to stay quiet. Ren comes closer and Hux remains unmoving as he checks his bruises. 

“There is blood,” Ren says. He frowns and his expression darkens. “You are only making this harder for yourself.” He sighs. “Let's make truce now,” he says. “I am too tired to deal with you right now. I'll take it off but if you try to attack me I'll attack you right back and I am sure you know you are at disadvantage.”

Hux agrees. He has his own reason for it. He remains unmoving as he watches as Ren takes his shackles off and then pats his wrists. “We need to bandage them,” he utters. “Come. I have some bacta in the kitchen.”

Hux refuses this time. “I want to shower first.” He is aware that he is dirty and that he smells. He doesn't feel very comfortable at the moment. “And I need some fresh clothes,” he adds when Ren opens his mouth and it seems like he wants to protest.

“Fine,” he growls in the end. He truly doesn't look like he wants to talk about it right now so he just grabs Hux's arm and quickly walks with him into the fresher. Hux is stumbling behind him. He managed to grab the sheet and cover himself with it before they left the bedroom. “You could go slower,” he says because he is unable to stay quiet.

Ren glares at him. “If you try something,” he warns him with a raised hand but doesn't actually finish his sentence. Probably because he knows that Hux will understand. “I'll bring your clothes after you are done. You'll eat dinner with me afterward.” He turns around and leaves the room.

Hux sighs once the door closes.

He walks towards the sink and stares at his reflection in the mirror. His face is sunken but he looks fine otherwise. He pats his cheeks and closes his eyes for a moment. Then he throws the sheets on the ground and takes off his boxers. He turns on the shower, enjoying as the cold water rolls down his back and front.

He kneels on the ground. It feels like it's rain falling on his head. He must remind himself that he is not on the Arkanis but on Ren's ship, that he is back in the First Order. That makes him think. If he's back, does it mean that he can be forced into a trial because of the murder of his father? Ren's not once mentioned Brendol but Hux is sure that he knows. After all, he took his dog tags and together with them he also found out everything about Armitage Hux. Even if he didn't, Pryde was surely happy to fill him in.

When Hux steps out of the shower, he is clean. He scrubbed himself until his skin turned red. And he is shaking. It's because the water was freezing. He wraps himself into the sheets and opens the door just to find the clothes on the ground, waiting there for him.

“Are you done?” Ren calls.

“Yes,” Hux says because if he didn't answer, Ren would surely march into the fresher. He closes the door behind him once again. Ren brought him a uniform and by the size of it, he clearly asked someone to bring it here. He is only a bit taller than Hux but he is much bulkier. Hux is thin, barely even has muscles.

He puts on the shirt and black trousers but leaves the jacket on the ground. He doesn't want to wear clothes with the symbol of the First Order. He's fallen deep but not this kind of deep. His hair is still wet. Hux brushes it. He notices that the tips of his fingers turned blue. His lips are blue as well.

Ren is already waiting outside. He notices that Hux is staring at his wrists. “I will treat them later,” he says and doesn't give Hux a chance to refuse him. “First, you need to eat.”

Hux follows him into the living room. Ren trusts a plate with meat and rice on it into his hands and pushes Hux to sit down. Hux hesitates but only for a moment. Then he starts eating. Ren observes him for a moment, to make sure that he will finish it and then he starts eating too.

“I thought as the Supreme Leader you would eat something different.”

Ren glances at him. “I am in the middle of the war,” he reminds Hux. It's strange to see this side of him. “I intend to win it.”

“I know,” Hux nods. “I understand.” He is quiet for a moment. “Does anyone know it's me?” 

“Pryde told the High Command. You recognized you the moment he saw you. At first, they screamed for your head. Pryde even wants to put you on trial.”

Hux is already planning to kill him. Perhaps he could take Ren's lightsaber to do it, Ren has that cursed weapon with him all the time. 

“I won't let them,” Ren assures him. “It's pointless to start bringing up the past. I don't care who you killed. I killed Snoke and they all know and can't do anything against it.” Hux is aware that this is the truth. Not even Pryde is daring enough to actually start a coup against Ren. He is an old man, not some revolutionary. Even Ren must know it because he doesn't pay it much attention. Hux suddenly understands. They are all just barking but in the end, the dogs go quiet when Ren enters the room.

To have so much power, it truly excites Hux.

“How gallant of you,” Hux murmurs and places the planet on the table once he finishes eating. He feels a bit better after his stomach is full. Hux notices that Ren is watching him. He unbuttoned his shirt. Hux can see his throat now, notices the faint bite marks.

“You still have that,” he utters and then realizes he spoke those words out loud.

Ren smirks when he notices that Hux is blushing. “Of course. You too.” But Hux slaps his hands away when he reaches for him. 

“Just so you know, it won't happen again.”

“You're cruel,” Ren jokes. It feels like they are back on Hux's shuttle, enjoying their evening together. 

“What happened to Millicent?” Hux asks. He already misses his fat cat. He misses her just as much as he misses Takato. They used to be always together.

“Takato asked me the same thing,” Ren says. “She wasn't very happy when I put you to sleep, At some point, she even told me she would kill me if I hurt you. I assured her that won't happen. She came to visit you only once.”

“So the cat lives,” Hux utters. Takato would never forgive Ren if he left Millicent behind.

“Yes,” Ren nods. “I forced me to take that animal on the ship. Can you imagine? I was forced by a twelve-year-old.”

It's truly funny to imagine that. Hux feels as the tension melts away. 

“Will you give me your wrist now?”

Hux nods. “I want to warn you though,” he says when he notices a small smile forming on Ren's lips. “I still want to kill you for what you did.”

Ren's fingers wrap around Hux's wrists. “I've heard it before.” He is not smiling anymore, his face is serious once again.


	22. Chapter 22

“How does it work?” Hux asks.

He is sitting on Ren's bed once again. Ren is seated in front of him. His eyes are closed and his shoulders relaxed. Hux is still tense.

“You have to stop thinking,” Ren tells him. “So that your mind can wander.” Perhaps he is being honest but to Hux it seems that he just wants to relax him before he strikes. He closes his eyes even though he is very unwilling. 

“Okay. My mind is wandering. What happens now? I can't feel a thing.”

Ren sighs in frustration. “You're really a piece of work,” he says and Hux knows that this session is over. “It's no wonder you can't really use your powers. You don't even believe in them.”

“I know what I can do,” Hux argues. “I can talk to someone through their mind. It worked with Takato.”

“I know,” Ren admits and he finally stops trying to teach Hux something. “I felt it the first time we met. Actually, that's how I found you.”

“Could you hear us too?”

“That would take too much concentration. And I am sure you would have noticed that Ben is not some normal man.” 

“I knew you lied to me when you said you left the Order,” Hux tells him.

Ren laughs. “So you didn't trust me from the beginning.”

“I was right not to trust you.” Hux stretches his hands above his head. His bones crack. Ren bandaged his wrists. It doesn't really hurt anymore unless Hux touches it. “You betrayed me in the end. I can't believe I tried to get rid of you twice and you're still here. Safe and sound. I am not the luckiest guy.”

Ren seems to disagree. “You're the only man who gets to act the way you do and keeps his head despite it.”

Hux doesn't really feel that special. He tells Ren the same. “I can't get used to it,” he says. “Ben was so different compared to you.” It's not a bad thing, not necessarily. The only problem is that Hux can't tell what was just a game and what was real.

“It's not that different,” Ren says after a moment of consideration. He clearly came to the realization that Hux told him enough of his past to reveal some of his secrets too. “Ben used to be me. Ben Solo was my name. You should know that.”

“I didn't connect it at first,” Hux admits to his own shame. “I didn't think you would be stupid enough to use a real name. Plus I thought that the Supreme Leader was too busy to play a game of charade with me. I was clearly wrong.”

Ren clearly thinks nothing of it. He just rolls his eyes. “I thought we were focusing on your powers,” he utters. “You are an absolute disaster. I can't believe I once thought you might be some kind of prodigy.” It's a joke, Hux knows Ren doesn't mean it. But still, he freezes for a moment and his heart skips a beat.

“How do you do it then?” Hux asks. “The Force reacts to you better than it does to me.” Ren is one of the best Force-Users out there, even though there are currently three of them. Hux glances at his lightsaber. Ren notices that he is looking.

“I saw you holding one too,” he says. Hux rolls his eyes.

“It was stolen,” he utters. “And I didn't know how to use it. What? Do you want to teach me?” Hux too late realizes that Ren might actually say yes. Then it happens. Once those words leave his mouth, Ren looks like a puppy that's just been petted.

“Do you have it with yourself?”

Hux stares at him in disbelief. “I had it but then I lost it. You threw into a fucking hole on Jakku.” Ren looks like he wants to laugh but soon he realizes that Hux is not joking. On the contrary, he is very serious. His expression changes after that really quickly.

“So that's why you were so upset over a bag. I didn't understand it.”

“That much is clear.”

Ren shakes his head. “But back about the Force. I just concentrate on one thing. It's usually bound to my emotions.” Then he gets an idea. He turns back to Hux with a smile playing on his lips. “Perhaps I know how to help you.”

Hux nods. He wonders what Ren's plan is. “Go on,” he prompts him when nothing happens for a longer time. “I am tired of waiting.”

“Why did you kill your father?”

Hux blinks. It's such a sudden question. “What do you mean? I hated him.”

“Yes. But why. There surely must be a reason. What has he done to you?”

Hux doesn't really want to talk about it but it seems he'll have to. “He was cruel. He killed people I loved so I thought it was just fitting that I would cut off his head.”

Ren nods but he wants to know more. Hux recognizes that hunger in his eyes. “Did he hit you?”

“On multiple occasions,” Hux admits. “He thought I was a disappointment. He wanted a son but I was not the son he wanted. It didn't matter what I did. In the end, the problem was me. Always.” Hux balls his hands into fists.

It's not hard to remember what Brendol did to him. He remembers shaking, always being afraid that his father might hit him too hard and his bones will shatter. No one questioned the bruises on his arms, the scratches and broken bones. There was one moment, the most terrifying of his memories. Hux remembers that his father was towing over him, his lips stretched into an ugly smile. His hands were wrapped around Hux's throat, squeezing it painfully to the point where Hux couldn't breathe at all.

“He wished me to die,” Hux murmurs. “He told me I should have died with my mother that day. He told me that if she didn't stand up to him, she would have lived.” So in the end, it was his fault. If his mother loved him less than maybe… Suddenly he is not with Ren anymore. He is a child once again, shaking and screaming and his father is choking him. But Hux can't feel his hands. It's just a memory until it isn't.

At some point the hands that are reaching him are cold. Hux feels like he is truly about to die. “No!” Hux screams but the hands don't pull away. He is panicking now, there is nothing but those hands and the realization that he will die. Another scream dies on his lips and the tension rises, this time inside of his body. Hux thinks nothing of it. He acts on instinct as he did on the day when Brendol died. Those weren't his hands that swung the lightsaber. Someone, no something was guiding him.

The hands are suddenly gone. They disappear the moment the tension breaks inside of him. He hears a loud crash and sees that Ren is kneeling in front of him. 

“Hux,” he warns him quietly. “You need to stop.”

But Hux ignores him. He is still panicking. He sees Ren fly back into the wall. He groans and grabs his shoulder.

“Armitage!” he roars.

Hux stops and blinks. When Ren sees it, he surges forward and then grabs Hux's shoulders. For the first time, he seems like he has no idea what to do. So he just kisses Hux. It's his first time kissing him as Kylo Ren.

That brings Hux back. Tears are rolling down his cheeks. He looks at Ren when he pulls back.

“You're back,” he whispers and seems to be glad.

“What just happened?”

“I pushed you too far,” Ren admits. “I couldn't control you.” He is still massaging his shoulder. Hux reaches to touch it.

“I did that,” he whispers, horrified. 

“It's fine,” Ren claims. “Fuck,” he swears and then turns his head to the side. “It's my fault.” 

Hux says nothing. He is too weak to argue. He only wraps his hands around Ren's neck and closes his eyes. His heart is still beating wildly inside his chest even though he is safe now.


	23. Chapter 23

Finally, Hux is allowed to see her.

Takato seems smaller than the last time he saw her. Her hair is braided and her clothes are clean and white. Hux is glad that she is still the same. Despite Ren's assurances that she wasn't brainwashed, Hux needed to see it for himself just to be sure.

She hugs him when she sees him. Hux can tell that she is genuinely happy to see him. Takato's smile is definitely real.

“He didn't hurt you,” he says. Ren is allowed to meet them but it's in an interrogation room. That way Hux doesn't get a chance to grab some weapons or cause havoc and no one has to watch over them though Hux has a feeling that Ren is watching them anyway just to be sure.

“I thought you said he would never hurt me,” Takato says. She doesn't look afraid which can only mean that Ren didn't lie when he said that she was being taken care of. “He is my friend,” she adds. Hux very much doubts that Ren sees himself as her friend but he is not going to tell her that. “Yours too,” she says when she notices that Hux looks down.

“He is a dangerous man,” Hux tells her. He has a sudden need to remind that fact.

Takato doesn't seem surprised. “You're dangerous too,” she says. “I am too. If he decided to hurt you, I would have killed him.”

It's such a sweet confession but Hux is sure that children are not meant to say things like that. “Thank you,” he says because he doesn't know how to react. “Do you like the Order so far?” Takato taps her fingers against the table.

“I met Captain Phasma,” she says in the end with wonder in her eyes. “She told me I am really good with knives.” Hux nods again. He remembers mentioning to Ren that he would like a normal life for Takato. He might have to mention it again because he doesn't think that children should play with knives and even worse, they shouldn't be good at that.

“You are not happy,” Takato immediately notices. She is really good at observing people and Hux knows that there is no reason for lying about it. 

So he only sighs before he confirms her words. “I still think that we are not safe here.” But now he has no idea where he can find real safety. Ren showed him his true potential, the powers that are living inside of Hux. He is now afraid that one day he might lose control again. He bruised Ren's arm but Ren is a grown-up man. Takato is not. One such accident and she might end with a broken neck.

Hux will not allow that to happen.

“Perhaps you should leave. I could find you a better home than this place.” The First Order is not a place for children. They all end up like soldiers, Hux is not stupid. How long before Takato loses her own free will? 

“But you would not go with me.” Great, now she's upset. As if Hux wasn't feeling bad already. “I will not leave without you,” she states. “In fact, I do not wish to leave at all.” She stands up with a determined expression on her face. “Why can't you be happy too?” she wants to know. Her tone is sharp but she is not yelling. “We can have here everything we want.”

Hux is now sure that she can't understand. “You're just a child,” he tells her, being just as harsh as she is. “What do you know about right and wrong?”

“What about you?”

Hux feels like crying. Who the hell is the adult here? “I didn't come here to argue with you. I was worried. I wanted to see you.” Takato's expression softens.

“Ben was really worried about you. He was afraid he killed you and that you won't wake.” 

“That's nice that he was worried.” After all, he was the reason Hux was unconscious for three days straight. “You are now very close, aren't you?”

Takato shrugs. She seems like she doesn't want to fight anymore. “He brought Millicent back,” she adds. “I think that Ben likes you.”

“It's Ren now,” Hux corrects her. “Is Millicent alright?”

“Hm,” Takato nods. “Phasma hates her though. Millicent is quite angry. She won't come to me. She is probably worried about you.” Then she asks the question Hux doesn't really want to answer. “What's the difference between Ben and Ren?”

Hux doesn't say that Ren is the most powerful man in the galaxy, he knows that would only earn him Takato's respect. “Ben is the name his parents gave him. Ren is the name he gave to himself.” He also doesn't mention he killed his own father. He knows that in that case, Takato might mention how she killed her own parents as well. It's almost funny that all three of them killed at least one member of their family. 

It's as if it was in their blood.

“You should stop worrying. Ren promised that he will protect both of us. It's not like anyone can say no.”

But that's not Hux's problem. “For now,” he utters. Future is hope, never a promise. “Fuck. You just need to be careful.”

Takato frowns when she hears it. “Why do you hate the First Order so much?” she growls. “This is the first home we've ever had.”

“This is an organization full of psychopaths,” Hux screams right back at her. “No one here is safe. They all fucking sleep with a knife under their pillow.”

“You keep a dagger in the sleeve of your greatcoat,” Takato reminds him unkindly. Hux feels betrayed by her. The door slides open and Ren enters. He offers Takato a small smile. Hux is never sure when he is serious and when he is just playing.

“He doesn't want to stay here!” she says and points her finger at Hux. Hux says nothing. It's clear that Takato would mention such a thing to Ren. Ren pats her head and she slaps his hand away. “You could visit me sometimes.”

“I would love to,” Hux says sarcastically. “But then again. I am just a guest.” He looks at Ren. He can't leave his quarters even though he wants to. “What is she?”

“Soldier,” Ren says. It's clear it was meant to be a joke. Ren doesn't get a chance to laugh before Hux glares at him and Ren decides to change his answer. “She is our guest too.” Except she is not confined in Ren's room like a prisoner. 

“Phasma thinks she could teach her a few tricks,” Ren informs Hux. “She thinks she has a talent.”

“I am against it. But it doesn't matter, does it?”

No one answers him. It's very clear that Takato is happy and that she wants to stay. Hux's never thought that he would be bound to the First Order just because of her. But what can he do now? He can't leave and Takato won't leave. 

“Fuck,” he says and turns his cold eyes towards Ren. “You caused this.” Perhaps this was his plan from the beginning. Perhaps he knew that he would win by getting Takato on his side. Hux now can't leave her behind. 

“Are you any different than Rey then? You both are simply desperate to get me on your side. Are you happy now? I AM STAYING HERE.”

Hux takes a deep breath to calm down. Takato comes running towards him. “What's so bad about it?" she asks because she still doesn't understand. “We killed people too. You said it's alright if we have a good reason. You said that this is war and people must die.”

“But I've never said I wanted to be part of it.”

He has no idea how to explain to her that this is not some game. “People are going to die,” he says slowly. “You don't even believe in their order. You just like it here because they feed you and Ren is nice. I told you not to trust too easily and that's what you're going to do.”

“All my life I've been hungry and cold. You were too. No one saw us. We were just street rats and we both knew it. Not once in your life, not even once, you didn't want to have a place to come back?”

Hux is quiet. Then he says, “Not like this.” He stands up to leave. Ren doesn't stop him but still, Hux informs him that he is going back to his quarters.

He walks out of the room. He is shocked to see Pryde waiting outside. The old man frowns when he sees Hux. Hux only grits his teeth. They don't exchange any words. Pryde is holding a datapad. 

“You were wrong,” Hux tells him. “He's a madman.” It's not a question, it's a statement. He says those words because he believes them to be true. 

Pryde shrugs. “Perhaps you needed to see it for yourself.” 

Hux bares his teeth. He is tired of this man. He remembers that Ren told him that Pryde wants him dead. No wonder. If Hux wasn't under Ren's protection, he would end up on the trial and would be most likely sentenced to death. It doesn't matter to him though. He is just not happy. Even worse, he feels empty.


	24. Chapter 24

The ground beneath him is cold. His fingers tingle. It's not the same feeling as it was when he threw Ren against the wall, his chest is empty now. Hux takes a deep breath and keeps his eyes closed. In and out. That's how Ren did it. The most important part is to stop thinking, keep your mind from wandering.

It works, at least a little bit. Ren claims that once they get him a lightsaber he'll feel it more. The bursts of energy along with the moving blade. Something like that. Ren told him it would be a new feeling for him. He would feel alive.

Hux can keep doing this only for a while. His inner peace is connected with being alone and the moment Ren steps through the door, something inside of Hux flares up. His eyes snap open and gone is the soft tingling. There is energy pulsing through him in waves but he can't reach it, can't grab it and wield it now.

Ren gently pats the front of his uniform. These days, he is trying to convince Hux that he should wear one as well. He claims that Hux is naturally slim and has sharp features, the uniform would suit him. Hux suspects that Ren just wants to see him dressed up in clothes that can tell even a blind person that he belongs to the First Order now. It's probably because of the hickeys that are now fading away.

Hux touches them sometimes, he feels nothing of course. How can he feel a mark on his skin? When Ren notices his actions, his eyes darken. He knows what he's doing, pushing Hux into the corner. Soon he won't escape.

“So you won't speak to me now?” Ren asks. He is not in a good mood these days. Hux won't speak to him even though he is not trying to make Ren furious. He is gathering his thoughts, thinking about the next step. 

When he hears Ren's question, he only looks up. His mouth won't open. Ren crosses the room with a sigh and it seems like he wants to touch Hux but then he doesn't do it. They both are equally stubborn. Hux wonders who breaks first. 

“It was not my plan to trick you,” Ren tells him. “I wouldn't use Takato against you. But I also knew that I couldn't leave her behind. Who would have taken her then? Would you be happy if it was the Resistance? Then you would end up facing the same problem.”

Hux tries to close his eyes again. Clean his mind. That's what he needs to do right now. He knows that Ren is right but at the moment, Hux is too pissed to think about it normally. After all, it's not like Ren didn't force him into this situation from the start. So he needs to focus on the Force now, it holds all the answers and it can...help him? Perhaps. He is not sure how it works. Is he supposed to ask questions and the Force answers? He can try. Or maybe not. Ren breaks his concentration by grabbing Hux's shoulders.

“LISTEN!” he growls. His fingers dig painfully into Hux's skin. “Can you stop doing this? Just yell at me or do something but don't be this quiet. It feels wrong…. like you're broken.” The honesty in Ren's face is devastating. Hux's seen it on Ben's face before but this is just completely different. Ren is leaving his heart exposed, it's bleeding into Hux's palms.

“Idiot,” is the first thing Hux says. His voice is hoarse. Ren immediately lets go of him. “You don't get it,” Hux continues with newfound vigor. “I… All my life I've been running from something. There is no way that you say a few nice words and I am going to settle down without questions.”

“You can ask anything you want.”

“And will I get honest answers?”

It's clear what Ren is about to say even before he says it. “You've asked me before and I gave you a truthful answer. Why doubt me now?”

“You've played with me for two months,” Hux reminds him bitterly. He thinks he is finally over it but now. “Ben and Ren are not the same, no matter what you say. I've seen both of them.” I fell in love with both of them, he thinks and his own thoughts steal his breath away. So this is love? How can it be so painful? So destructing? What's so pretty about it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

“I tricked you,” Ren admits what they both know it's the truth. “But I've never meant to hurt you. Perhaps in the beginning yes. It was just a game but then I realized you're a real person and then I just wanted you with me. I took Takato in because I know how much she means to you. In the process, she started to mean so much to me. I know you're worried but I promise you that she's safe here.”

“She's happy,” Hux says without looking at Ren. “If I take her away…” His shoulders slump. He understands now, he must understand. “I can't do it, can I? A parent would do anything to protect their child.”

Ren smirks. “I thought you told me that she's not your daughter. That you don't see yourself as a father.”

“Times change.” Hux finally leans closer towards Ren. “If you want me to stay here, I am warning you that I won't be known only as your lover. You'll teach me everything you know. You'll make a lightsaber for me.” He pauses. There are many things he wants. “You'll win this war for me and for Takato. It must be quick. I will not wait for another decade to see the end of it.”

Ren lowers his head and buries it in Hux's hair. He starts laughing. “I shouldn't have expected anything less from you,” he says. Hux can barely hear him. “Okay. Okay. I promise you all of that and more. Anything for you, just stay by my side and never leave. That's all you need to do. I'll become your Master and teach you everything I know.”

Hux feels as Ren wraps his hands around Hux's middle to keep him in place. Then starts pressing heated kisses against the column of his throat, leaving fresh marks behind. Hux doesn't protest, he allows Ren to do as he pleases. His heart sings in relief too so he can't really complain about the situation.

“Pryde needs to die.”

Ren stops kissing him for a moment. “He is my right hand,” he says, deep in thought. “I need him.”

“You need me more,” Hux says because he is sure of it. He grabs Ren's face and stares into his dark eyes. “As long as I am here, Pryde's always going to be a danger. It's better to get rid of him now when he doesn't expect it.”

“I need someone to take his place.” At first, Hux is unsure what Ren means by that. But then he understands. “Beast,” he utters with his cheeks turning red. “You could have said it more nicely.” He doesn't look away even though he wants to. “I am not part of the Order.”

“You are what I say you are,” Ren says. “They will believe it. Don't worry about unimportant things. I can take care of everything.”

Hux urges him to take off his gloves. Ren's hands are naturally warm. Hux's skin is cold. “I am still angry with you,” Hux reminds him. After all, Ren pushed him into this. He didn't come here because he wanted to. Plus Ren lied. He deserves to suffer for a while. “So you need to make it up to me. I call the shots in this relationship. I am sure you can understand.”

Ren doesn't even protest. He obediently agrees. “If that's what you want.” Hux's fingers dig into the collar of his uniform. It's clear now, Ren is his dog and Hux has him wrapped around his little finger. 

“Good,” Hux says because he is happy to hear it. “Now invite Allegiant General Pryde. I wish to speak to him. This has to end and I am going to finish it now.”

Hux stands up slowly. “Do you have a blaster?” His heart swells inside his chest when Ren hands him his own. That only means that Ren trusts him. It's almost surprising that that much has changed in only a few days. 

Ren pecks the side of his head. He, too, seems content now. After all, he got what he wanted from the very beginning.


	25. Chapter 25

The thing about Pryde is that he hates Hux but he doesn't hide it. He is always looking with disdain at him, a small smirk playing on his lips. This time is no different. He is looking down on Hux because he is sure he's won.

Hux has a blaster hidden behind his back, already feeling as the anticipation builds. After this, he'll be free.

Pryde frowns when he sees that Hux is all alone. He looks around but he can't find Ren. He is not here, Hux sent him away. He needs to do this alone, he needs to hear Pryde's last words and then pull the trigger. “The Supreme Leader left,” he informs him from the place where he is sitting. “He will come later to join us.”

By that time, Pryde will be dead. Pryde's frown deepens. “So you've got him too,” he utters and decides to keep standing. That can't be good for his old bones, he is not a young man after all and Hux is sure that it's only his pride speaking. If Hux was someone else, Pryde would be sitting already. Hux smirks when he realizes it. 

“I am sorry,” he cocks his head to the side. “I didn't hear it. Care to repeat it again?” That won't work on Pryde. The older man only looks at him with hatred in his eyes and repeats that sentence again, louder this time. He makes sure that Hux hears every word that leaves his mouth.

“Did you sleep with him to win his favor?” Pryde asks, making fun of Hux. “I told Brendol that you are not suited for the military. You are not a soldier, but a whore. And now I can see it clearly. Perhaps Ren is happy that you spread his legs for him but I will not be fooled by you.”

“I am not trying to fool you.” I am only trying to kill you. “You know, there were times when I hated you even more than I hated my father.”

Pryde doesn't seem surprised. “Your father was soft with you. He should have beaten you harder. Those were just bruises. You deserved shattered bones.”

“I've never understood though,” Hux admits. He ignores Pryde's words. Of course, he is angry but it has to wait. He'll make Pryde suffer for it later but right he can't be provoked. He has a plan and he needs to follow it. “I was just a child. Why did you hate so much?”

Pryde blinks. “If you saw yourself back then,” he says, voice crystal clear, “you would have hated yourself too. You were weak and pathetic. Always crying, always shaking.” Or perhaps was the problem that soldiers are meant to follow orders, not to question them. And Hux kept asking questions, he criticized Pryde's tactics to the point where someone realized that he was telling the truth.

“I think it was the humiliation,” Hux says. “A dirty bastard said the truth and made you seem like an idiot. There was no other way you could have repaid me so you wanted to break me.”

Pryde doesn't call him a liar. He accepts those words and Hux assumes they are true. “I didn't expect that you would lash back. I miscalculated on that one. I thought that Brendol would either kill you or that you would end up brainwashed like the rest of the children. It was a surprise when I found out about Brendol's murder.”

“Did I make you cry for once?”

Pryde looks at him as if he was stupid. “Brendol was a friend,” he says slowly. “I admit that. But it was not a deep friendship. He had many faults. If you didn't kill him, I would do it myself in the end. You did me a favor. But then you became dangerous so I tried to find you. You were really good at hiding.”

“I was told you want to start a trial against me.”

“Shouldn't you pay for your sins?” Pryde asks. But that's not what he wants. He knows that Ren is close with Hux now, it's just another safety measure. He just doesn't know how close they truly are.

“Ren killed Snoke.”

Again, Pryde is not surprised. “I know,” he says. “I found them. I think that most of the officers know by now. But who would dare to say it out loud? That would be treason of the highest kind and I doubt any of us would be able to execute Ren.”

“Then this is all that's left,” Hux says. Then he raises the blaster. The game is finally over. “I think it's time to say goodbye.”

He feels that Pryde is uncertain but he is not hesitant. “I should have known,” he whispers. “Ren knows about this as well, I assume.”

“I asked him and he delivered. I think he really cares about me.” Hux's finger brushes the trigger. Pryde seems like he wants to say something. Hux pulls it before he does. He sees as Pryde falls on the ground. There is blood soaking through his uniform. He is screaming, holding his injured leg and Hux moves closer to have a better view.

“That must hurt,” he says to panting Pryde. “It might hurt even more.” Then he shots into his other leg.

Pryde curls into a ball. His body is shaking. Hux can smell the blood in the air. He kneels down. “I wanted to see you just like this. You have no power now. You are just a pile of meat and bones.”

Pryde looks at him. His eyes are unfocused. The pain is perhaps too much. “Do you feel good?” he asks with bared teeth. “Is this what you wanted?”

Hux says nothing. He is angry that Pryde can still speak. “It's over now,” he says and doesn't contain his rage. “You don't get to win over me. Not this one last time.”

“I should have killed you when I had the chance,” Pryde says. “It would have been my death sentence. No matter. It would have been worth it.”

“You should have,” Hux confirms with a nod of his head. He raises his blaster again and this time he aims for the head.

_ STOP!  _

Hux shudders. He recognizes that voice immediately. “What do you want now?” he asks and looks around the room. He can't see Rey, he can only feel her and hear her. She is distressed, shocked.

_ You don't have to do this,  _ she tells him. He can bet that she is not smiling now.  _ If you pull the trigger, it will be too late. You can't come back. _

“Perhaps I don't want to!” Pryde is staring at him with widened eyes. It's clear that he thinks that Hux is mad. Hux pays him no attention.

_ Will you be able to live with yourself?  _ Rey asks him again.  _ Come with me. Take my hand. We can leave together. You and Takato… you can be happy.  _ She is desperate now because she knows that she is losing him. But she is too late now. Takato is happy, she is safe. And Hux won't leave her. He wants to stay too.

“I am not like you,” he whispers. “I am not a good man.” She knows only so little about him. Hux's killed so many people in his life and Rey has no idea about it, she wouldn't have accepted him if she did. “I am sorry,” he apologizes. “But it's already decided.”

_ He's a monster, _ Rey says. Her voice is shaking. Hux wishes to see her face. But perhaps it's better she's not here.

“So am I,” he says. Then he pulls the trigger. Pryde dies immediately. His blood is now on the ground. Hux takes a deep breath. He realizes that Rey is still connected with him. He wants to break the connection but the door slides open and Ren stops him. He crosses the room.

“May I?” he asks and presses his fingers against Hux's forehead. “I swear it won't hurt.” He is now focused on Hux only, not on the dead body on the ground.

Hux nods. He realizes he trusts Ren too. He feels as Ren enters just to join the connection. He uses it to get inside of Rey's head. Hux can feel her panic, she tries to pull back but she is trapped.  _ You… What have you done?  _

Her voice is faint now. Hux hears as Ren speaks to her. His tone is mocking. Hux sags into his arms and buries his face against Ren's chest. Ren doesn't break the connection though, he only wraps his hands around Hux's form.

_ I am coming,  _ Ren says inside Hux's head.  _ So you better run. _

Then there is silence. Hux pushes Ren back. “He should be dead.” He is talking about Pryde. He walks towards the corpse and touches its face. Pryde's eyes are open. When he lifts his hand, he notices there is blood on his palm.

“He is,” Ren confirms it. “You've done well.” He kisses him. Hux can only nod. Then Ren lifts him up into his awaiting arms. One of his hands sneaks beneath Hux's knees, the other beneath his armpits. Ren holds him steadily and Hux notices that he is looking down at Hux's face. 

“Why are you looking at me?”

“Because you're too handsome,” Ren flirts with a small smirk playing on his lips. Hux reaches to caress the scar marking his face but then he remembers that his hand is dirty. 

“Don't be stupid,” he murmurs tiredly. He knows he should protest. Ren is not supposed to carry him around. But he likes being held like this so Hux decides he will let it slip for once. “What will happen to Rey? The entire Resistance?”

“You asked me to win the war for you,” Ren says calmly. “That's what I am going to do.”

Hux hums. “I like this uniform.” He touches the red stripes. He doubts anyone would see the blood on Ren's black uniform. 

“We need a uniform for you too,” Ren murmurs. “You are part of the Order now.”


	26. Chapter 26

It's the same as it was in the beginning. They end up in Ren's bed. Hux's clothes are scattered on the ground but Ren gets to keep his uniform on. Hux tells him it turns him on and Ren doesn't protest. It takes them an hour to start functioning properly again. Hux puts on his pants to shield his modesty. But Ren's already saw everything.

“So Rey did this to you,” Hux asks about the scar for the first time. He runs his finger over it. Ren's skin is soft. He is looking at Hux again. There are stars in his eyes. He keeps telling him that Hux is beautiful but Hux thinks that he looks absolutely stunning tonight. 

“I lose my battle against her,” Ren says. “It used to bother me in the beginning. I don't care anymore. It's just a scar. She could have taken my life.”

“It makes you look dangerous,” Hux whispers in wonder.

“So you like it?”

“Of course,” Hux utters. A thought crosses his mind that he could press a kiss against the scarred flesh. It's such an intimate gesture. Hux decides against it. He doesn't think he is really suited for the romance of any kind and Ren surely won't mind. Between the two of them, Ren acts like a fool when it comes to love. Hux usually hides his emotions, he prefers to show that he cares about the other man through his actions.

Ren laughs when he hears it. Hux blushes. He didn't mean to say it like that. “Pretend you didn't hear anything,” he commands. He knows that Ren won't listen to him. “I am as shameless as you are.”

“I would beg to differ,” Ren says. Then he presses a quick kiss against Hux's naked shoulder. “You are shivering,” he murmurs. He pulls away and Hux wants to protest but no sound comes out of his mouth. He lowers his head, angry at himself that he can't express what he wants properly. Ren returns rather quickly and he wraps Hux into his cloak. 

“That's better.” He seems to be proud of himself. “Don't sulk. It makes me want to kiss you again and again.” Hux pushes him away with his elbow. 

“Shameless,” he repeats because that's the truth.

“What about your scar?” Ren asks. He traces it with his nose. It's located on the side of Hux's throat. He usually keeps it hidden beneath the collar of his shirts. He touches it briefly now and caresses Ren's cheeks in the process.

“I almost forgot all about it,” Hux admits. It's not a very good memory to have your neck almost cut off. 

“You hide it.”

“Because I don't think it's important for people to see,” Hux tells him. “But I am not ashamed of it or anything. I just don't think it's important.”

Ren touches it. Newly, he is really interested in Hux's body. He keeps caressing it whenever he can. He claims that it's to memorize anything. Even if Hux thinks it's a little bit stupid, he doesn't say anything lets Ren do as he pleases.

“I could have lost you,” Ren whispers.

Hux looks at him strangely. “It happened a long time ago,” he says. “You didn't even know me back then. Plus it doesn't matter. I am still alive, am I not?” He doesn't understand Ren's concerns. One scar won't change anything between the two of them, so why is Ren so focused on it?

“I don't know why,” Ren murmurs. He sometimes reacts to Hux's thoughts. He claims that there are times when Hux is thinking too loudly. “It's just interesting that the person I care the most about could have died and I would have known nothing about it.”

So it's helplessness. “You can't change the past,” Hux murmurs. It's the truth. One can't simply cry over spilled milk. “Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.”

“It sounds like something I would say.”

Hux hits his arm. “You said it.” He allows himself to slide deeper into Ren's embrace. He must admit that it's not very comfortable to be the only half-naked there but he decides to ignore it for the time being. Hux is warm and he feels safe.

“Show me your lightsaber,” he requests after a while of silence. Ren doesn't react at first and Hux is almost afraid that he fell asleep. But then he moves and Hux can feel it as he reaches behind his belt.

“Here,” he murmurs softly. He presses the weapon into Hux's palms. Hux touches the hilt and then stares. He turns it in his hands.

“Activate it,” Ren prompts him. His voice sends shivers running down Hux's spine. “Come on. I want to see it.” Hux recognizes that tone immediately. He listens and watches with fascination as the blade springs to life. The room is suddenly not so dark anymore, the red light pools around them like fresh blood.

“It's beautiful,” Hux breathes out. He can feel the power in his hands. The lightsaber pulses with life. Something deep inside of Hux calls to it and the Force answers. Hux tries to remember what it felt like when he activated the lightsaber he stole that night. He is fairly sure it was a little bit different. 

Everything burned around him but the feeling was not the same. “I've never used a lightsaber before. At least, not like this,” he says what Ren already knows. “It excites me to think that…” He stops himself before he says something embarrassing. Ren only stares at him knowingly. His hand moves down and his fingers wrap around the hilt. They are not holding it together. Hux raises his free hand and moves his fingers towards the blade.

“Don't,” Ren warns him. “It's going to hurt. You are not immune to pain.” Hux's hand remains hanging in the air. It shakes a little but he takes Ren's advice and he doesn't touch the lightsaber even though he wants to. But Hux knows the consequences of his actions. 

“When I killed my father, I remember that I wanted to do it but I didn't know how. I think it was more of an instinct than me. My hands just moved all of the sudden and before I knew it, my father had no head.”

“You were born for this,” Ren tells him. Hux knows that he is not the best student Ren could ask for. It's still hard to focus sometimes but he is getting there slowly. He is now able to move objects with his mind. Ren claims that the Force is not just that, throwing rocks around and thinking it's something special. 

Hux enjoys mind reading the most and he is fairly good at it. He still talks to Takato when he has time. He is a busy man, he's been recently promoted to Grand Marshall because he insisted that he would not end up as Ren's concubine. Takato spends most of her days with Phasma now. Hux doesn't like the Captain but he rarely says something about it.

Just two days ago, Ren took them for a short trip. He claimed they had time for it even though Hux dared to disagree. But the moment Takato saw snow and was actually excited about it, Hux stopped complaining. She forced them to build a snowman and started a fight with Ren. Hux had a feeling that the only reason why she was allowed to win was because he was there. But it felt nice and peaceful and it almost made him forget all about the war and his training and the fact that he is now back in the First Order.

There is some part of Hux that is convinced that he will never think of the First Order as his home. There are only two reasons now why he's staying and those are Takato and Ren. It doesn't seem likely that Takato tells him one day that she wants to leave and so Hux is getting used to being the Grand Marshall. 

He likes the power that comes with his position and the fact that he is not on the run anymore. Hux likes that he is not alone anymore.


End file.
